Overcoming fear

                                             

I was falling. 

It seemed like forever. And then with a crash, I landed. I a chorus of gasps from those around me, felt a flash of pain, and then began to see faces crowding in around me.


That was the moment that started one of the most pressing and unrelenting fears I have ever been challenged with. Fear is something that we all face, and mine came about abruptly. I had just attempted a backward tumbling pass at gymnastics and had hesitated....a moment too long. Even though I had practiced the skill a thousand times, on this one attempt I felt a moment of panic, so I stopped and began to fall. Since that moment, I have been gripped by a fear of this skill. Fear is common and is a struggle for all of us. And today I want to teach you to conquer your fears. I am going to do that with an acronym; FEAR; Faith you will overcome it, evaluating to understand it, actions to defeat it, and resolve to conquer it. Four letters, four steps to deal with fear; faith, evaluation, actions, resolve.

Faith is hope that we can overcome, and trust in something greater than ourselves that we will. But it is different for everyone. You have to first recognize what your fear is, then what it will teach you. Maybe you struggle with a fear of talking to someone or talking in front of people. Maybe it’s a small fear of bugs or snakes, maybe it is something big like a fear of a car crash. Whatever it is, everyone has that moment when they recognize that they are scared of something. For me, it was right after I hesitated on that backflip. We don't want bad things to happen to us, so we are afraid of the future. But we should have faith that God will help us through, that he has a plan for us and this anxiety over something cannot hold us down. A popular Bible verse in Psalm 23:4 states, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Though it may seem pretty hopeless at the time, you can have faith that God will see you through. But we must also have faith that we will grow in some way because of fear, that it will teach us something. One of my first memories of being afraid was in a tree when I was seven. I don’t remember how I had gotten up, all I knew was that I had to get down, and soon! But I was petrified and refused to move. And I remember my Dad telling me that fear is a good thing, it is natural, we all have it and we need to learn from it. It warns us not to do dangerous things, but too much of it is bad. You have to recognize what it is warning you about, and then weigh the pros and cons of continuing. Yes, I eventually got down from the tree, but those words stuck with me. We all should analyze our fear, and figure out what it is warning us of, and then weigh the advantages of pushing through, all the while trusting that God has a purpose.

Then you have to evaluate your fear, figure out the experiences that gave you the fear and the experiences that will get you through. There was probably something that lead up to a fear you have. Perhaps watching a friend go through what you are afraid of or maybe seeing something in the news, whatever it was, once you know where you got the fear from you can consider the likelihood of what you fear actually happening, and if it is really that bad. Right after I crashed on my tumbling, it seemed like everything was over, like my whole world had collapsed. I couldn’t see a light at the end of this tunnel. And for a while, I wasn't sure if I should continue. But now that I have some perspective I realize the pain was not that severe, and I was only out of my sport for about a week. Being in the experience I was afraid and blew the problem out of proportion, but if you take a moment to step back and think about what you’re afraid of and why, you may find that it really isn’t so bad. And then you can rationally evaluate the problem.


Next come the actions, setting and fulfilling goals. Your courage is like a bank account. The more you take action against your fear, the more your confidence grows. There is an ancient Cherokee legend of an old man speaking to his grandson, he says, “there is a fight going on inside of everyone, it is a terrible fight between two wolves. One is evil and ugly: he is fear, self-doubt, negativity. The other wolf is good and beautiful: he is joy, confidence, hope, and courage.” The grandson thought for a moment and then cried out, “which wolf will win?” to which the elder replied, “the wolf that you feed.” And this is something we should all think about. There is no truce, no middle ground. Either the confidence in you is winning, or the fear is taking control, and every decision you make, every action taken, feeds one or the other. That is why you must actively fight your fear, and feed only the wolf that you want to win this struggle.



But the most important part of facing a fear is the resolve to get through. Without resolve, you may set goals, but you won’t achieve them, you can’t move anywhere unless you are resolved to do so. And what was foundational to my perseverance in conquering fear was 1 John 4:18 which says, “there is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear.”

Fear and love cannot coexist, and I found that if I truly loved whatever I was afraid of, that fear went away. And now, whenever I feel a touch of anxiety I say that verse over and over, and remind myself why I am doing this. If I love the person I am about to go talk to, then I won’t fear. If I love what I am doing, then I won’t fear what other people think. If I love God, then I won’t fear doing anything that honors Him. And if I love gymnastics then I will not fear performing a skill. The joy outweighs the anxiety. As I began performing that backflip again, I set simple goals for myself and found the joy flooding back and conquering the fear. So, commit to facing your fear without resolve, any fight is pointless, but with it, anything is possible.



I can’t tell you that these four steps work perfectly to conquer all fear. They can help, but they are not magical. Only we have the power to work the magic, to make amazing things happen. So I challenge you, if fear is the only thing holding you from something great, stop letting it conquer you. Have faith that you will come out of it stronger. Evaluate what you’re afraid of, maybe it’s not so bad. Take action against your fear every day and build your confidence. And whatever you do, stay resolved to not let it get the best of you. Always remember that fear is no match for love, but perfect love drives out all fear.