Speech: The Weight of Interactions

This is one of the speeches I wrote and competed with this season, it's on interactions and the weight that they have.

That summer was one of the best I can remember. It was two years ago, and our family took a vacation to the beach in Alabama, we spent three days on the water just relaxing and every night we would walk along the shore looking out at the horizon. One day as we were walking toward the water I began looking at the footprints that my family and I left, as we strode along the beautiful white beach, numerous grains of sand would shift around our weight leaving holes. Later that night many of those marks were still there. But, in the morning, only the footprints that had been the deepest could still be seen. I began thinking about how one step makes such a change, and our interactions with others have a weight also. Today, I want to show you the weight of your interactions. That term “weight of interactions” sounds pretty fancy, but it just means that everything we do with others has an impact. I decided I wanted to leave my own footprint, one that wouldn’t be gone in the morning, but a mark that remained on the people I had touched. I am still striving for that today, and I want to encourage you to as well. Our interactions have a weight to them, an ability to leave a mark on people, so we have to deeply consider every move we make, every word we say.

I am not going to shake any foundational beliefs, I am not going to try to change your mind on anything, in fact, most of what I say you have probably heard before and you will probably agree with. But, I am hoping that by showing you the facts, you will begin to consider everything you do with other people.

But first, I want to explain why this idea of our impact on others is so important. The main reason we need to consider our interactions is because we are all immortal, so everything we do has eternal effects on people. I know, that sounds crazy but it’s true, we all live forever. C.S. Lewis says, “there are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations- these are mortal and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit- immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” Not a single person we talk with is truly mortal. We have the power to shape them into everlasting splendors. Hopefully, as we explore the weight of interactions, you can see how to use that power to make a positive impact. We are going to look at the myth of interactions, the mindset we should have about our interactions, and lastly, the mission, how to have a positive impact in every interaction.

First: The myth. Many people try to leave an impact by making others care about them. We talk about trials and problems and never care to listen to those of another person. The problem with modern interactions is it’s self-focused. Because of that, so many interactions have a negative impact. People can end up walking away from conversations feeling even more disappointed because they just heard someone else’s problems. That can be devastating, but what may be even worse is when we are too afraid to interact. When we make excuses for not meeting new people. We say things like, “I am an introvert.” “I am bad with names” “That person obviously doesn’t want to talk to me.” It gives us an excuse to stay caught up in our own world and not impact other people. This too, can have a negative result. On March 12th 2014 California State University hosted guest speaker Kevin Hines to share his story. When he described what happened to him, Hines says that in September of 2000 he took a bus to Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. Hines had determined that his life was worthless so he would end it by jumping from the 246-foot tall bridge. He was the last one off the bus at the last stop. As he exited, he looked at the bus driver, desperate for a kind word. At that moment, this young man made a promise to himself that if anyone smiled at him or asked how he was doing, it would prove to him that someone cared, and he wouldn’t jump when he reached the bridge. But no one did. At one point a couple even asked him to take their picture, but, consumed with their own lives, they didn’t even offer a kind word. After a few moments, he seized the rail, and then plunged toward the water. Only 2 percent of those who have done the same thing have lived to tell their stories. Miraculously, Hines was one of those. He broke just about every bone in his body but survived. His story is amazing. But even more extraordinary than his survival is the promise he made to himself before he jumped. One smile could have saved his life. We could have been that one person on the bridge. Or that person on the bus with him. We could have offered a smile, or said: “have a good night.” And had we done so, we would have gone on our way, having no idea what that small act accomplished. But no one made that choice.

I see this everywhere I go, even in a world full of social media where everyone is “connected” I see people choosing not to leave a positive impact, as a result they leave a negative one. Interactions have become all about oneself, giving us an excuse to dodge making an impact.

What is the real mindset we need to have? The mindset that we as Christians should hold is that every interaction, and choice not to interact, has an eternal impact. We need to purposefully touch everyone we can in a positive way. I mean every person we come into contact with. Everyone you say hi to, everyone you text, the people in your family, the friends you see every day, any stranger that you meet, and the random person at Starbucks-- you have an opportunity to touch their life. If you walk passed someone in the hall today and don’t strike up a conversation, you miss a chance to brighten their day. And maybe it is someone who, like Hines, was questioning the good in man. If so, then your decision to walk passed them could have an unexpected result, because maybe you failed to show God’s love at the time they needed it most. So every move and every word has to be deeply considered before we act. I think of it like writing an email. You can ask my family, if I have to write an email it often takes me hours or even days to compose it.  I’ll form multiple rough drafts and show it to my siblings many times. I treat the send icon like a nuclear launch button. Inching toward it then quickly withdrawing to verify the message before finally clicking send. Even if you don’t go through this length to send an email or a text, chances are you consider those things more carefully than words you say. And yet, words spoken in person carry more weight than a simple message. Which means we need to think through them more.

 So what should you do when you walk out of this room? The mission that we have is to positively impact as many lives as possible. We can do that through two simple steps. First: Consider. If you are caught up in your own problems, then you cannot consider other people and how to impact them. Quietly consider every action, every word, and the impact you can have. There are two simple questions we can ask ourselves to know if we are using our interactions wisely. How many people do you see everyday? How many do you actually stop to talk to? If your anything like me than the answer to last question is surprisingly few. When I realized that I set out to change it using the second step: leave an impact. To leave an impact on someone starts simply by talking to them, showing a little bit of kindness. Such small actions can lift a person’s spirits. Getting asked how school is going, can make my day.  If someone I don’t know begins a conversation with me, it’s exciting. And now, I try to remember that feeling when I talk to others. It’s impossible to count how many people we can actually impact, but a recent estimate guesses that from age 15 to 90 you interact with 100,000 people. 100,000. What if we changed all of those peoples lives for the better? What if we even ended up saving a life? Or inspiring someone in a big way? It’s time that we start realizing this impact we can have, recognizing the power we wield to make an eternal impact.

This has become my mission, because I wish others had done this for me. I’ve always struggled with connecting with others, and two years ago, I was fine with that. I didn’t really hang out with anyone. Even last year I never tried to reach out to others, I didn’t feel like I needed to start conversations. I would walk past people with my head down. But then I finally realized: I was continuing the pattern. I wasn’t changing anything. Someone has to break this cycle, and it starts with one person. There is a theory that if one person goes out of their way to show kindness, then it starts a chain reaction. So, I tried. Yes, I failed a few times but slowly I began to reach out to people.  And now, I enjoy starting conversations with anyone, friends or strangers. I am trying to continue that chain reaction by speaking to you. I hope that you begin seizing opportunities placed before you each day to make an impact. Start by just striking up a conversation. You may not see the impact, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t making one. The more you practice, the easier it is to interact in a positive way with everyone. Now, when I see someone walking toward me in the hall I stop them and ask how they are. Because I want to leave a footprint that will not be erased. I no longer pass up conversations, because I understand the weight that they hold. Do you understand? Do you realize that we all have an eternal impact on people? If so, what are you going to do to leave your footprint?