Some thing's are more important than breakfast

The house was a mess, the kitchen was chaos, people were stressed, everyone was exhausted. And we were all hungry. As we were trying to get food on the table for the six people in my family tension was high. Breakfast is really important. But in the middle of all of that a few days ago, I paused. And I realized that some things mattered even more.

Ever been in a situation kind of like that? Where everyone wants something and they are stressed enough to argue over it? Sometimes we get hyped up over situations that aren't really a big deal. I mean, I know it is a big deal in the moment especially if it's as vital as breakfast, but some things are more important than breakfast. Stressful situations are difficult to deal with because emotions can cloud our judgement of an already complicated situation. In those difficult times we have to remember that some things are more important then whatever you are trying to get done at the moment. Some things are more important then the tournament you want to win. More important then the paper you're trying to write or the grade that you want to get. More important then the song you're trying to listen to or the game you want to play. And you all probably know that. Yet, when emotions are high and you want something badly that just seems so important, it's easy to forget those other things that should be important to us at all times. What are these things? Family. People. Relationships. Your integrity, honesty, and respectfulness. Love. Those things should never be sacrificed for anything, even breakfast.

So how do you keep focused on those things when it seems like the world is falling apart? Think of a cup full of water. If that cup is knocked over, what will come out of it? Water. If it's full of milk, water won't come out. In situations when you aren't stressed, you are filling up your cup with either good things or bad things. When you get shaken or upset, what is in the cup will come pouring out of you. If you prioritize the important things when it's easy, then you will still be able to focus on them in the stressful moments. Consistently but emphasis on the things that are really important so that in stressful situations you can see what matter most.

I've talked previously about stress and how getting through it makes us stronger, but today I just want to focus on our priorities. By prioritizing things that have an eternal significance rather then an earthly we can avoid some of the stress. One German writer, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, grasped the importance of priorities. He said, “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” In a world where thousands of distractions are constantly vying for our attention it is of upmost importance that we stay focused on what matters most. Namely, God and His commands. As I was mentally going back over that situation in the kitchen, it struck me that a similar thing had been recorded in the Bible. Luke 10:38-42 says, “A certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, ‘Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.’ And Jesus answered and said to her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her’”  Is serving important? Absolutely. But some things are more important, and that's the lesson Martha had to learn. When we prioritize Christ, we don't get frustrated if things aren't going our way. 

 Breakfast is always really important. It's possible to stress over it and get upset over those who stand in your way from getting it. But God's commands are even more important. The people around us are more valuable. Yes, some things are more important than breakfast.

A few questions

Here's some background to this post: My middle name is Marie. This is an interview between Marie and Elaine, so basically I am asking myself questions. I tried to imagine the questions a reporter would ask and then answer them honestly. I hope you like it.

Marie, “Hi Elaine, thanks for taking this time to talk with me.”

Elaine, “sure, I’m glad I get this opportunity to answer whatever questions you may have for me, it’s very different from writing a normal post.”

Marie, “You certainly write a lot of posts, what got you into writing so much and when did you know that you wanted to start a blog?”

Elaine, “I really wanted a platform to share some of my thoughts, it was about eight months ago when I was tossing around a lot of ideas and needed to write them down and then decided that I would publish them. I’ve always hoped that I could give someone a new perspective on an issue or give people hope through writing.”

Marie, “Well you certainly have a platform now. You talk a lot about hope in many of your posts, when did that really become an important idea for you?”

Elaine, “It was probably most important to me right before I wrote my post on my gymnastics story, basically I was going through a lot of changes in my life and I wanted to more deeply understand what hope really meant to me and then share that with others and maybe make a difference in their lives or impact them in some way.”

Marie, “And that remains an important concept for you today?”

Elaine, “Definitely. I can’t claim to understand it fully, but I still cling to hope like a lifeline.”

Marie, “That’s great. You just mentioned making a difference, that has been the theme of many of your posts recently, right?”

Elaine, “Yes, two or three of them specifically focused on the impact that we can have.”

Marie, “But doing that is hard isn’t it? It’s difficult to use our choices to make a difference. I think a lot of people don’t do that because they’re afraid of rejection, what do you say to them?”

Elaine, “Well, I think everyone fears rejection and everyone has faced it in some form at some point. Whether it's not receiving the invitation to a party all of your friends are attending or not getting acknowledgment for something you worked hard on, fear of rejection is a real struggle for all of us. I know it’s been a struggle for me. We ultimately just have to decide that we don’t care, that the good we might do is better than the rejection we may face. We shouldn’t care about the judgments of others because we have already been judged, and the verdict is good news.”

Marie, “We have to decide to not care? That’s scary.”

Elaine, “Life is rarely easy or simple. We have to face our fears in order to succeed. Our greatest fear shouldn’t be rejection, but if it is we have to conquer it. In everything, we must have courage.”

Marie, “Is that why you named your blog, “The Courage 2 Continue”?”

Elaine, “That was part of it. I have always loved the Winston Churchill quote and some things were happening in my life that proved the importance of courage, so I decided that would be the theme of my writings. Since then I’ve tried to incorporate courage in some way into my posts.”

Marie, “Interesting. What exactly is courage?”

Elaine, “That's a tough question. Courage is a very complicated idea. Winston Churchill says that it is what it takes to stand up and speak and what it takes to sit down and listen. Courage is facing our fears, doing the right thing when it isn’t easy. We can see examples of courage all around us, and really I think those examples are what give us the clearest view of courage.”

Marie, "That's a good explanation. Now, one of your first posts was on a song that you basically explained in more detail, Cry Pretty by Carrie Underwood, and in it you talk about the need to open up and accept help for others, what has that looked like for you?”

Elaine, “Well, I have to admit I’m rather hypocritical regarding seeking help. But when I do open up and trust people it’s always worth it. Often we hide our pain, but when it gets to be too much, it all comes pouring out like a flood. And when it does it’s helpful to have someone you trust that you can lean on. While I don't Even though I'm not a great role model in this issue, I still encourage others to find someone they can trust and open up with because it does help in difficult times.”

Marie, “You’re right about that. Thanks for answering my questions, I have enjoyed talking to you, and maybe we can do this again sometime.”

Elaine, “Sure. I really appreciate the time you took to talk with me.”

Marie, “I hope you make a difference in your world. I hope one day you touch millions of people with your words. They have had an impact on me. Keep writing and keep spreading hope.”

Elaine, “That’s my goal. I’m not perfect though and my words are often lacking. I can only hope that I can help someone who is struggling with things I have struggled with.  Through everything, we must keep in mind that “Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.”

That's how I imagine an interview about my blog would go. It was something different and very fun to write. If you guys liked this then please let me know! If you comment and tell me you enjoyed it, I'll do another one like it. If you don't like it, please comment and let me know why. I really want to hear your thoughts. 

The importance of a name

Almost every conversation starts with, "Hi, my name is Elaine, what's yours?" Unfortunately about 20 seconds later the conversation comes to an awkward pause as we have to ask, “what was your name again?” And so starts the introduction process to get to know someone new. It all begins with a name. Our names are useful to say the least, most of us keep them for our whole lives, we sign our name on important documents, we are known by our name, and our name gets forgotten hundreds of times. But names are very important, they are how we are identified and they give us a send of dignity and pride. When someone says our name it can make us feel important or loved. And since names are so important, you would think that everyone goes out of their way to remember them. Unfortunately that’s not the case. We tend to forget names very quickly despite the fact that it is often in our best interest to remember them. I want to persuade you today that remembering names is important.

 You might think well I already know its important to remember names, I just cant do it as well as I’d like. Well, I’ve thought of that a few times but I realized that we become good at things that we put a lot of effort into. And we put effort into what is important to us. So if I show you that it is really important to remember names, then you might put more effort into it. Now maybe you’re one of those people who is great at remembering names and never forgets any of them, if that’s you then thank you and also I’m really jealous, but keep it up. For the rest of us though, names aren’t that easy so we'll examine how important they are in the hope that you will pay more attention to them.

So what's in a name? Why is it important? I've thought about this a lot recently because I realized that we love to name things. When I was younger everything had to have a name. We would name places, things, stuffed animals, pets. We do that because we like to feel like we are in control, we like to have a sense of pride in things that belong to us. Names have been used since the very beginning when God named us, Man and Woman. Then Adam was given the responsibility of naming things, I guess that just became a need for us. We all have an innate desire to name things and to be named. It gives us a sense of control and belonging. And if you can remember someone else's name, it makes them feel welcome and appreciated. In a sense, our name lends to our dignity, to our being human. Every single culture uses names to refer to people. Anyone who is human, has a name to go by. Names are so important to us, that one of the first things the Nazi's would do to lower morale was take away names. Prisoners were given a number to be identified by. When the soldiers did this, they removed part of their identity and began the process of stripping them of dignity. A name carries weight. It's a way of taking credit for things you have done. It's how you will be remembered, through a name the individual has a way of being part of history, and his or her deeds will exist separately from everyone else’s.

Dale Carnegie says, “A person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound to them in any language”. For me, that quote is very real. Imagine half the time you walk up to someone they call you someone else’s name or they ask you which one are you? Now imagine that happening to you for about 14 years of your life. After a while you get used to it. For me that was a reality. Unless I was wearing a nametag, half the time I got called the wrong name, by friends, peers, and even family. You see, I’m a twin. An identical twin. People always ask me what that’s like and I generally reply that its cool and uncool at the same time. I never hold it against people for not remembering my name, I understand that its difficult, and that makes it so much sweeter now when someone says my name. I understand the importance of remembering other people’s name because I know how much it means to me. When my sister and I started looking less alike people began to say my name more often, and it used to always surprise me. Whenever someone would say, “hi Elaine” I would look down to see if they were just reading my nametag because for the longest time people would only say my name if they could see my nametag first. Being a twin has given me an appreciation for names, and hopefully showing you how much it means to me has given you a reason to put more effort into remembering them.

Hopefully at this point I’ve persuaded you that remembering names is important, I’ve also probably made you feel pretty convicted. But I want to encourage you that you can do this. Let’s look at putting what we’ve learned into practice. There’s a couple of tricks we can use to remember names, I’ll explain three of them. The first way to remember names is to repeat it. Throughout the conversation you have with this person, say their name as much as you can, without sounding weird of course. Secondly, you can spell it out. Once they tell you their name either spell it in your head, or ask them how they spell it, especially if it’s a unique name. And as soon as your done with the conversation, go write it down or type it into your smart device so if you do happen to forget it you can go look it up later. The last tip for remembering names is something I hope I’ve helped you do in the last few minutes: choose to care. Yes, it does require effort, very few people are naturals at it and it’s hard to remember people’s names, especially if they’re twins. But if you think it’s important you will succeed in getting better with names.

On trial

Have you ever felt like you will never be enough? Experienced crushing feeling of despair that comes with the thought that you failed something? Let me give you some good news, you don't have to feel that way. We aren't supposed to be perfect in our own eyes or in the eyes of the people around us. We often put too much effort into reaching our own standards or being what society wants us to be. These things make us feel like we're standing in the middle of a courtroom and the verdict is guilty. Like we will never be enough. The truth is, we have already stood trial. We have already been judged. And the verdict is good news. But it's hard to see that when judgements constantly come against you.

There are three different courtrooms that we can be judged in. But we should only put our faith in the verdict that comes from one of them. 1st Corinthians 4:3-4 says, "But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.” 

Paul describes three courtrooms: society, ourselves, and God. Three judges that can pass a judgment. So I want to break down what courtrooms Paul is talking about. We’ll see how often we can stand trial in the wrong one when we value other judgments above God’s.

The first part of verse 3 says “ But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court.” Paul is talking about society: Those around us. When we dwell in this court, we’re constantly looking for acceptance from others. If you put weight in the judgment of others and how you compare to your peers and that’s where your joy lies, then all it takes, is one negative comment and disappointment will overwhelm you. Don’t let your hope lie in the approval of others. Because, eventually you will lose their approval no matter how hard you try to keep it. We need to be able to say with Paul that we count a small thing to be judged by any people. It doesn’t matter how other see us. Paul understood that his joy didn’t lie in the approval of other so it was a small thing for him to be judged by society. Can you say that? Do you believe that and live like that?

The second court that Paul mentions is himself. “In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted.”

He doesn't judge himself because he knows that he cant be acquitted by his own judgment. We tend to set impossible standards for ourselves and then expect that we can meet them. When we inevitably fail to meet those expectations we beat ourselves up over it. By trying to judge ourselves we’re assuming that we have the power to make perfect standards, as well as the power to justify ourselves. Fortunately, only Christ can do that. We should strive to achieve His standards for our lives first, not our own. And His standards are simple, Romans 10:9 says, "If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." We have hope because we aren't the ones in charge of our fate. That's the third courtroom that Paul talks about.

When we remember that it’s the Lord who ultimately judges us, the things of this world will grow dim. Christ has paid the price for us. He was condemned so that we don’t have to be. The only judgment that matters is God's. Paul's dismissal of our ability to accurately judge ourselves can be liberating. He insists we simply lack the lenses to gain an objective picture of who we are. In the Bible, the truth about ourselves only emerges from our relationship with God. We cannot get an accurate picture on our own because we tend to over or under estimate. He doesn’t judge us by the opinions of others. Because His verdict is already in. He pronounces you innocent and acquitted. 

It doesn’t matter if everyone likes you or not because it’s a small thing to be judged by them.

Living in society's courtrooms or our own courtroom leads to a life of feeling stressed and unwanted. It makes us feel like we must always do more to be good enough. But in God's courtroom we can have peace and security knowing that enough has already been done. That's the courtroom I want to dwell in. That is where there is security and certainty in the judgement. Which will you live in?

Taking Pictures (without a camera)

Some people just have to take pictures on their phone or camera, they want to capture something and save it for later. But I’ve never had that luxury before. You see, I’ve never had a phone that could take pictures, I’ve always wanted one, but recently I’ve begun to wonder if it’s better to not be able to take pictures. Because I’ve never been able to take a picture when I see something cool I have begun to figure out other ways to capture the moment. I’ve learned to “take pictures” mentally, to make memories. So today, I want to talk about making memories, taking pictures, but not like a photographer would, I don’t have a physical camera, but like a person living in the moment can. We all have an incredible capacity to remember things down to the smallest detail, but we often choose to store it in the memory of our technology instead. 

The problem is that we have technology with us constantly. We don’t go anywhere without our phones so it’s very easy to not be attached to the world. And when we pull out our camera to take a picture, that picture may come out clear, but when you look back on the moment and try to remember it, your memory will be fuzzy. The technologies surrounding us blur our focus and distort the images we see. Our phones divide us between two worlds, but we were only meant to live in one.  Now, whenever we see that perfect sunrise, or experience a moment of joy, it’s almost like we have to take a picture in order to prove it happened. It pulls us out of reality and forces us to rely on something else for our happiness. We are addicted to saving things for later instead of savoring them now. So in order to solve part of this addiction, we can make our own memories without our phones.

The process of making memories is all about finding ways to get your brain to store things away forever. But you can’t make a memory if you aren’t there, so step one to taking pictures is to be in the moment. Instead of being on Instagram and checking where someone else is, check out where you are. Look for the extraordinary in your situation. And once you find it, don’t pull out your phone. It will only pull you away from whatever is happening. Some things weren’t meant to be captured, somethings we just need to soak in. So once we’ve found the extraordinary things in our life that we want to remember, and when we don’t pull out our cameras, what should we do?

The second step in taking pictures is focus. Just like focusing the lens of a camera, your brain can focus on certain things that you want to remember. Once you’ve found the moment you want to “take a picture of” focus on every detail. The sights, the sounds, the smells the emotions you feel, the people around you. Those are things that an ordinary photo can’t capture, but your brain can. I still remember the first time I ever walked across a stage. It was four years ago but I was focused on every detail of it, mostly so that I didn’t trip and fall in front of everyone. And because I was so focused in that moment on everything around me, I can remember everything about it. When we focus, we remember every detail that cameras can’t capture.

Step three, associate. We all have things that bring back memories for us, right? The sight of the beach brings back childhood memories of playing in the sand, the smell of smoke brings back memories of campfires. We like to associate certain memories with objects or images, it’s a habit, but doing it purposefully helps us remember times more clearly. Associating memories with images or objects helps us hold on to them, it also helps a lot with step four: recall.

Recall is just remembering things we already know. When we take pictures mentally, we already have that information stored away..…..somewhere. Sometimes we don’t know exactly where though. Our brains are sometimes like squirrels who don’t know where they hid a nut. We aren’t all perfect at remembering things, but practice makes our brain stronger at it. When we do this, the possibilities are limitless.

We all have great potential to remember things if we follow this process. Our memory can store 2,500,000 Gigabytes, or 300 years-worth of TV. When we lay aside the problems and focus on the process, the potential is amazing. Since our phones have replaced our memories, we have begun to lose this art of taking pictures. But we should go back to it, live in the moment more fully and hold on to things for longer, simply by not pulling out your camera. 

I finally got a phone. Yes, a phone that can take pictures. You can't believe how excited I was. But when I look at all the people who are addicted to taking pictures, who always stare at the world through their screens, it makes me sad. It makes me resolved to never become that person. I want to be able to remember things clearly, I don't want to be dependent on the memory of my phone for all my favorite moments. So now when I'm tempted to pull my phone and open the camera, I think of all the memories I will miss if I do that. And instead I dwell in the moment, focus on the details, associate it with something, and later I can recall it consistently. That's how I take pictures without a camera, you should try it. 

How could we doubt?

About 700 years before Jesus' birth, a prophecy was recorded in Isaiah about a child who would be born of a virgin and who's name would be Immanuel. From Jeremiah, the people learned that He would be a descendant of David. In Micah, we are told that He would be born in Bethlehem. Throughout the Old Testament, prophesies were written about a Messiah who would save His people and rule wisely over them. The Jews believed that. They hoped in that. In the book of  Malachi, about 400 years before the birth of Christ, it was written that a messenger was being sent. And then there was silence. For about 400 years people waited for a messenger. Waited for a Messiah. Waited for prophesies to be fulfilled. And then came Someone who fulfilled every single prophecy about the birth of the Messiah and lived a perfect life and died a painful death just like Scripture said He would. How could we doubt that Jesus Christ is our Messiah?

In a small town that hadn't ever been mentioned in the Old Testament, Nazareth, an angel appeared to a 15 or 16 year old girl and told her not to be frightened. He told her that she would bear a Son and His name would be Jesus. This girl was naturally shocked and confused. Her name was Mary, and the Bible tells us that she had found favor with God. She was engaged to a carpenter named Joseph, so how could she have a child? She was surprised because this, to say the least, was not normal. So when she bore a son, there is absolutely no question that this child was the Son of God. If His father had been Joseph then Jesus would not have been God incarnate, He would have only been man. And if He was only man, then He could not save. And if He could not save, then our faith is a hoax. And if our faith is a hoax, then we are hopeless. But His father was God. Jesus was miraculously born of the virgin Mary. Fully God and fully man. Looking at all the strange and intricate details of His birth, how could we doubt Jesus was the Son of God?

A choir of angels heralded His birth, bringing good news of great joy to all people. Shepherds left their sheep and came to worship their Lord. After His birth, wise men brought gifts from afar. Jesus Christ humbled Himself to be born in a manger.  He was protected from the king who decreed that He be killed for simply being born. He was born to fulfill a promise and save us from ourselves. For the first time, humanity held God in our hands. The Sovereign king of all was born in the night in a small town to a young girl. Born because man had turned their back on God, but God hadn't forsaken man. The Giver of light entered the world like any other child, the savior the world was held in Mary's arms. God gave His own Son to save us. How could we doubt that we are loved?

Romans tells us that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. It also tells us that the wages of sin is death. We know that God is just and therefore cannot tolerate sin. But we also know that He is loving and merciful. So He sent His only Son to die for our sins. Fully God, Jesus lived a perfect life doing God's work on earth. Fully man, Jesus struggled through temptations of the flesh but never once sinned and then He bore the punishment for our sin. 1st Timothy says, "For there is one mediator between God and man, that man Jesus Christ." He is the only mediator for us because He was the only Son of God and son of man. Because Jesus lived perfectly and then took our punishment on His shoulders, how could we doubt that our every sin has been forgiven?

2,000 years after His birth, families gather together, united because of Christ whether they acknowledge it or not. Every year, we celebrate the fact that we don't have to doubt. Christmas is about the certainty and confidence we have in Him. It's about the hope He gave us on that night in Bethlehem. It's about His unconditional love for us. Now we wait for His second coming, when He will wipe away every tear from our eyes and there will be no more pain. We don't have to wait in sorrow and despair, rather we know that God fulfills His promises, loves His people, and will return to take us home. So we wait with joy and excitement. Since God sent His own Son to earth for us, how could we doubt that there is hope?

My favorite Christmas song: Who would have dreamed. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LbzC0pii-s

Wearing a mask

Run. Hide. Disguise. 

People don't like pain. We all know that. And we often believe that we cannot let others see our pain. We think they will abandon us, hurt us, or change the way they treat us. We fear that. So we run away from our pain because we don't want to deal with it and we don't want others to have to deal with it.

Mask. Obscure. Suppress.

We tell ourselves that we are loved because of the person we appear to be, not the person we truly are. When we are out in public or speaking to others we stay happy and bright. We wear a smile when we don't feel like it and keep our burdens to ourselves. When the pain starts to surface we suppress it. We build ourselves a castle out of emotional walls, and then those walls become our prison.

Lie. Cover. Bury.

Everyday we get up and we shoulder our pain like a backpack and we carry it with us everywhere we go. It gets heavy, but we don't let others see it. When people ask how we're doing we grin and say fine, how are you. We make friends and we let them into our lives, but we don't want them getting too close. The people who know us best have an idea that we are struggling, but everyone is struggling so they don't think anything of it.

This probably isn't you, but maybe it is.

I don't know you, I don't know your story, and I don't know if you are masking your pain. If you are, I don't know what it is. I'm not accusing you of anything and I'm not suggesting that you are hiding yourself from everyone. I don't know you. But I know me. And I know someone is out there somewhere who is believing they must do all those things: run, hide, disguise, mask, obscure, suppress, lie, cover, and bury their pain. If you do this then I cannot tell you to stop, that would be hypocritical of me. I can however tell you that you shouldn't shut everyone out because it hurts. People care about you and they won't run away if you let them get close. I know that pain hurts, but I've also discovered that you can't have joy without sorrow, you can't appreciate light without darkness, you don't know what freedom is until you have been chained. And if you let people in, if you be who you truly are and get rid of the mask then you will know true joy, light, and freedom. You will be happier and more real. You will appreciate that and people around you will appreciate that.

Like I said though, I don't know you so I can't assume anything about you and I am definitely not accusing you of doing this. I can only write in the hope that I can help someone somewhere escape their pain. I can only write about things I struggle with and am thinking about and want others to avoid. And if this isn't you, if you have no idea what I'm talking about when I mention wearing a mask, than that is great and I have a mission for you this holiday season. Behind every mask there is a face. Behind each face there is a story. Get to know someone's story. Break down the walls of the prison that they are keeping themselves in, ask them how they are doing and if you don't think the answer is honest, get to know them until you are confident that they aren't hiding their pain. They will thank you. Love has a powerful way of removing disguises and pain, so help someone out by getting to know who they truly are.

I do, however, want to add that not all masks are bad and some are even necessary. Almost everyone is wearing a mask at some point, we have to fill many different roles and they aren't always natural, so we fake it till we make it. Pretending to be happy sometimes is a necessity. But don't use that as an excuse to never reveal who you truly are. You should let people in from time to time.

Masks are a great thing to have in theatre, they make people become something they aren't for the sake of entertainment. When used every day though, the person becomes just an actor and the world becomes just an audience, watching but not truly seeing the person underneath. So the actor struggles alone and the world doesn't step in to help because they only see the act, not the struggling person. People dealing with pain would struggle less if they would accept help from the people put in their lives to help them. You need to let your walls down, drop your burden, and lower the mask that you use to disguise your pain. Unfortunately it would be hypocritical of me to tell you to stop wearing a mask and hiding your pain because I know how easy it is to hide. But I will tell you that you should open up and be honest with some people. Let others into your life and stop hiding, then you will know what it is to be joyful, light, and free.

But if you don't know what I'm talking about, if you have people who truly know you, and if you are open and honest with at least some people, then you can help spread joy. You can set people free by loving them and getting them to tell you their stories. Show them that they don't need to hide their pain. Because as much as we believe it's a necessity, we don't need to and we shouldn't wear a mask.

His masterpeice

God created the world and then created people in His image to do His work on earth.

You are loved. You are enough.

We sinned against Him and yet He sent His only Son to die for us.

You are loved. You are enough.

He knew you and designed you before the world began knowing exactly where you would be born and the struggles you would go through.

You are loved. You are enough.

He knows the plans He has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

You are loved. You are enough.

He put people in your life who love you and who you can love who will challenge you and inspire you.

You are loved. You are enough.

Every word you speak and every move you make is changing lives around you, you are changing the world in your own way.

You are loved. You are enough.

You are a star, you are amazing, you are inspirational, you are a friend and you are perfectly imperfect.

You are loved. You are enough.

You are not a burden. You are not needy. You are easy to love and friendship with you is exciting and fun.

You are loved. You are enough. 

Your mistakes don't define who you are, God does and you are His child. Everything in your life is there to make you even more awesome then you already are.

You are loved. You are enough.

No matter how difficult life is, God will never leave you or forsake you. You are His creation and He loves you. Never argue with that fact. Never minimize it. Never deny it.

You are loved. You are enough. 

When difficulty hits you from all sides and you are struggling, God is your refuge and your strength, a very present help in times of trouble.

You are loved. You are enough

The world needs you to be you, because you are real and genuine and you will change lives. Never hide who you are, don't let your mistakes mask the way you view yourself.

You are loved. You are enough.

People love being around you because you are kind, caring, and considerate. Love with everything you have and live life to its fullest.

You are loved. You are enough.

Don't compare yourself to others because you are unique and you are special. You could never live under anyone else's shadow because you shine brighter then a star and you are your own amazing person.

You are loved. You are enough.

God loved you enough to send His Son to die for you. God adopted you and calls you His and nothing will ever be able to separate you from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

You are loved. You are enough.

Jesus Christ, perfect and holy, set aside His glory to come to earth, was born in a humble manger, lived among sinful men, and died a painful death, and He did it for you.

You are loved. You are enough.

No good works and no mistakes could ever change how you are seen be God. You are His child. Your identity is in Him.

You are His masterpiece.

Now live like it. And never forget that you are loved and you are enough.

Fifteen things I learned

It was a good year. But mostly, it was a year of changes, new things, and learning life lessons. Fifteen is an interesting age that brings a lot of challenges, but if you stick with it, you'll make it through. Reflecting on this year I wanted to make a list of fifteen things I learned being fifteen, and I know that's a pretty generic thing to do on your birthday, but honestly if you could learn these things sooner than I did your life will be awesome.

#1. I love people
I'm an introvert, you guys know that, but I really used to never be around people. But I've come to realize that being around others teaches me so much and fills me with happiness. Some of my best moments are with other people. People are amazing and inspiring and loving. And I've come to rely on that. Now, I love being with people. I've made so many friends in the last year, and I can honestly say that they have impacted and changed my life in so many ways. They are encouraging and loving and supporting without even knowing that I need them to be that way. It's awesome. And I can never do for others what people have done for me, but I want to spend the rest of my life trying.

#2. I love to write
I've written more this year than ever before. And the more I write, the more I realize how much I love it. Words hold so much meaning, and to be able to put them in such a way that conveys the message you want to communicate, there's magic in that for me. It gives me joy to phrase things the right way, to pour my thoughts out and see a page fill up. For the rest of my life I never want to stop writing and sharing those words with others.

#3. About hope
I've learned so much about hope. If I had to pick out a theme for the fifteenth year of my life it would definitely be hope. Over and over it inserted itself into my life, I didn't even realize the trend until about a month ago looking back at all I had been doing. Through papers, speeches, blog posts, emails, and discussions, that word kept popping up telling me what it was and how desperately I needed it. Some of those things I wrote in a post on hope, some I will simply remember forever. Hope has been my theme.

#4. I never want to stop learning
I have been a schoolaholic for the last year (yes, that's now a word) Honestly I've done so much school work for high-school and college credits. I used to think that school was boring and unnecessary. But I've begun to realize that I love it. I never want to stop learning about stuff, I want to take college courses and read deep books and research difficult questions for the rest of my life.

#5. Breathing is a necessity
Life gets stressful. It becomes overwhelming. And it makes it difficult to breathe. Especially when you realize all the things you have to do in a very little amount of time. But when that happens and life gets busy, you have to breathe. I never appreciated how difficult or necessary it was to breathe in some situations until this year.


#6. Peace is a mindset
When I focus on all those things that stress me out or I take on too much responsibility then its almost impossible to experience peace. But if I have all that going on and I focus on the fact that God has control and His plans for me are to prosper me not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future, then I can have peace. God can give us peace that surpasses all understanding, it comes with a mindset of trusting His strength and His plans for our life.

#7. To deal with responsibility
I've always been afraid of growing older, simply because it means more responsibility, more things that could go wrong, so many ways that a single decision could mess up my life. But I've become better at handling big responsibilities. I've had to be responsible for kids that come into the gym, I have to be able to keep them safe and if they get hurt, its my fault. I've been responsible for driving the car and not hurting anyone. I've been responsible for meeting deadlines and getting good grades and most of the time I haven't failed. Dealing with responsibility takes practice, and I've had to practice it a lot this year.

#8. Chocolate is a lifesaver
Where would we be without chocolate? It reminds us life is still sweet even when it looks sour. I couldn't have made it through my 15th year without it.

#9. Some music isn't actually that bad
I used to never listen to music. Ever. But this last year I was introduced to some songs and some singers and I started listening to music more. Now, I actually enjoy it.

#10. Difficulty hits everyone
Everyone goes through trials and hard times. But it's very easy to forget that. It's easy to just focus on how I'm feeling, what I'm going through. As I've been getting to know a lot of people in different situations, I've come to realize that others need encouragement at times. I've begun to ask how people's day was and try to get an honest answer. Instead of just focusing on me, realizing that difficulty hits everyone has made me try to spread hope more often.

#11. One choice makes a difference
I read and heard of a lot of stories about people who just needed one person to talk to them, say hi to them, or smile at them, to lift their spirits and brighten their day. Looking at that, I began to realize that one choice really can make a difference on someone's day, week, or life. I wrote a post about that too because I think we need use our choices more wisely and impact people around us.

#12. People are watching
My parents always would tell me that people were watching my behavior, most often that was when I was misbehaving and they needed me to stop. So I grew up hearing that, but I never really believed it. Recently though people have begun saying that they have seen me and taken notice of me and some of the things I do. And to emphasize that in my life, I wrote about it a lot, because I need a constant reminder to be respectable, to be a role model. It's a kinda scary thought, but it's motivating too. People are watching me, and I want to be someone worth watching.

#13. To remember
Goodbyes are hard. Ending good times is painful. Missing a place and people and happiness is part of life. But we can keep those memories with us. I've begun to realize what really needs to be remembered, the little things that make me happy, the friends and the good times I've spent with them. We can't just take those things for granted, we have to hold on to them, value them, and remember them forever. I wrote a post about petrichor at a time when I was regretting that I hadn't remembered some times better. It's so important to remember, and that's one of the lessons I've learned in this last year.


#14. To let go
Some things we can't hold onto forever. I had to let go of the sport that meant the world to me. I had to let go of the dreams that came with it. I had to let go of the dreams of having lots of free time each day. I had to let go of memories of my past mistakes. I had to let go of grudges against people. While it's important to remember things, some things chain us to the past and won't let us move on. That's when we need to let go. And I had to learn that if I was going to continue some friendships I had to let go of grudges. If I was going to pursue new dreams, I had to let go of the old ones. If I wanted to make progress, I had to let go of the mistakes that kept me down. I learned to let go.


#15. It's the courage to continue that counts
The world can pelt us with difficulties, it can shower good times upon us, but through it all we must persevere. Pressure builds diamonds. There's a quote that says, "An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward, so when life is dragging you back with difficulties it means that it is going to launch you into something great. So just focus and aiming.” It takes courage to continue aiming. Courage to continue fighting through trials. Courage to breathe when the temptation is to panic. Courage to forgive when hate is easier. Courage to make the right choice and change lives. That courage is what matters. Not the success I've had in this last years. Not the failures that held me back. I learned the importance of courage. I had the courage to continue.


Now I'm sixteen. The journey isn't over. I have learned a lot, but there is so much more to learn. But I step into this new year trusting the plans God has for me and looking forward to what He will teach me. I want to make an impact this year, use every moment I have for good, and encourage people around me.

The problem with being ok

I'm sure you've been asked if you were "ok" at some point in the past. It seems to be our go to question whenever we see someone who is obviously not "ok". Anytime we see a problem we just ask if it's ok.

Many times when I am asked if I am ok, I am conflicted over how to answer. How do you answer that question? At one such time I was obviously not “ok” and this person realized that. So why did they even bother asking? Could I respond by saying “no, I am not ok”? Isn’t that selfish? Even if I had answered yes, I knew that this person was going to ask “what’s wrong?”, so why wasn’t that just the first question? Are any of us actually “ok”? What does that even mean?

Questions like that have pestered me for a while now. It's been difficult for me to understand why people ask “are you ok?” And I don't understand what the answer should be. So let's go through some answers to questions that I need answered, and maybe you'll relate at least a little to some of these thoughts.

Why do people bother asking "are you ok?"? They ask because they care. For some reason they want to know what's going on and if they can do anything to help. And that is a good thing, it's nice that people care, they have the right idea. But they/we also ask it because we are afraid. We don't want to ask "what's wrong?" for fear that nothing is wrong and then we look weird for asking. "Are you ok" is a safer question. Obviously, I see a problem with that. If we are asking because we care, shouldn't we ask the harder question? The question that may actually get an answer that tells us how we can help? Honestly, "are you ok?" is the wrong question. We should be asking “how can I help you?” or “what’s going on?” Not only is it the wrong question, it also carries the false assumption that being ok is a good thing.

If we respond to the question by saying, "yes", then the asker often shrugs and walks away, assuming nothing is wrong. But being "ok" IS wrong. We shouldn't live our lives in a stream of ok days. Rather, we should be joyful, grateful, and productive. We need to stop falling into a pattern of ok, we weren't made to just survive from day to day.

We were meant to be like trees planted by a stream of living water, they don't just survive and scrape by, they flourish. 

We all get asked "how are you?". Generally we respond along the lines of, "I'm ok, how are you?". If we say anything negative about how we are, then we get asked what's wrong.

Being "ok" has become normal. But it shouldn't be. If someone says they are ok, the asker should not be satisfied with that answer but rather curious as to why they are just ok. The asker should follow up by questioning why they aren't great, happy, or joyful. So the question "are you ok" is the wrong question and contains the false assumption that just being ok is a good thing.

But it's not just the question that is the problem, it's the normal response that is also flawed. It's difficult to know what to say to this question, so if we are in pain and don't want people to know, then we just respond with "I'm fine" and hope they will leave us alone. Doing this thwarts the attempt the asker made to show care. Whoever is asking wants an honest answer the majority of the time and by saying we're ok when we're not is communicating that we don't care about their attempt to care. It's shutting people out who want to help. That's hurtful to you and to the person who cares about you. 

So if that's the wrong answer, what should we say? We should be honest. If we're hurting and someone asks the flawed question "are you ok?" then give an honest answer. If you're just doing ok, then say yes. If you're doing amazingly well, tell them that. And if you aren't ok, tell them you're not ok and explain what's wrong. But I, like so many people, am hesitant to do that. I think we hesitate mainly because it seems selfish. Before answering, when someone asks me if I'm ok, I have always considered if it's a bad thing for me to say no. If I say I'm not ok, then I am afraid it will seem like I'm all about me, like I believe I deserve their attention and worry. And that's definitely not what I want to be seen as, so I'll just say yes. I think that's the mindset of many people who won't give an honest answer to this question. So in order to avoid seeming selfish, we hide our hurt. The problem there is that if someone asks about you, it's ok to talk about you. Obviously don't go on and on about yourself or exaggerate something just so you can talk about yourself, but be honest. If someone cares enough to ask about you, then probably they genuinely care so you should give a genuine answer. 

Generally when I get asked if I'm ok, I am conflicted over how to respond. Now don't get me wrong, I love the fact that someone cared about me enough to try to understand what was going on. But it's the wrong question and often receives the wrong answer. It gives the asker the opportunity to hide behind a "safe" question and the answerer an opportunity to hide behind a "safe" answer. But shouldn't we be honest with each other? If we care about people, shouldn't we be brave enough to show that we care? Don't ask if someone is ok, ask what's wrong or how can I help. Don't assume that because they say they're ok, they are actually doing well. And don't respond to this question by blowing it off and thwarting someone who cares. Don't be dishonest for fear of being selfish. 

BE GENUINE!!! 

If you care, genuinely care! If you're in pain, be genuinely honest about it! And please don't be ok with just being ok. We must not simply stumble through our days with our heads hung low, rather we must flourish like a tree planted by streams of living water. "Are you ok?" is the wrong question and being ok is the wrong lifestyle. Let's break away from the dialogue that disguises our feelings and instead, be open and caring toward other people.

Thanksgiving

Time for a stereotypical holiday post, you know, the one that tells you what it really means to be thankful this Thanksgiving holiday. And I wanted to write this to add my voice to the thousands that are trying to explain the true meaning of living thankfully (at least for one day). But I also wanted to do something a little differently, I don't want to list things I'm thankful for, I'm not going to ask you what you're thankful for, and I'm not going to tell you to be grateful. Those are all good things but I'll leave them to other people to tell you. Rather, I want to challenge you.

Thanksgiving is "an expression of gratitude". An expression is "making known your thoughts or feelings". So on Thanksgiving we should actually be making known our thoughts of gratitude, not just keeping them to ourselves. And if we take a moment to think of what we're really grateful for, what really makes a difference in our lives, it's people. The people surrounding us shape us into who we are and bless us in incredible ways. So instead of just being grateful this Thanksgiving day, I challenge you to go thank five people who have blessed you in the last year. Just five. Go tell a handful of people that you appreciate them and what they've done for you. This could be your parents, your siblings, your best friend, the person who cooked the meal, anyone who has benefitted you in some way. 

Saying "thank you" isn't that hard, but we often forget to do it. People appreciate being appreciated, and when we don't tell them thank you they can feel forgotten. There are so many people in our lives that make a difference, and we take many of them for granted. Instead of just having an attitude of gratefulness, or listing things your grateful for, go tell five people that you appreciate them. Let them know they're not forgotten. Inspire them to continue on. 

In the spirit of this challenge, I want to say thank you. Knowing that people will read what I write encourages me to keep writing. And I love writing. If you are reading this than you are inspiring me to continue doing what I love, and I'm very grateful for that. You are the reason I continue to write my thoughts down, organize them, and post them. So thank you. 

Enjoy your Thanksgiving and help other people enjoy it by making them feel appreciated! Take a moment to tell five people thank you, after all, that is what Thanksgiving is all about.

From Now On

How many of us make New Year's resolutions?

What about goals for the school year?

Have you ever kept working toward those goals for a substantial amount of time?

Trying to reach our goals is hard, you have to keep your feet on the ground and forge ahead through disappointments. We should set goals that make us a better person, and then reach those goals by forming habits. Consistently shaping ourselves into better people makes an impact on the lives of people around us. Being diligent and hardworking widens our sphere of influence and changes how people see us.

We all have dreams that one day we can change the world right? Everybody wants to make an impact and leave their mark on history. 

But changing the world starts with changing yourself. 

I loved the movie The Greatest Showman. One of the reasons I liked it so much was because of the truth it conveys, especially in the soundtrack. As P.T. Barnum sets out to change the world of entertainment, he comes to realize that he wasn't happy with the man he became, he saw that he needed to change himself rather then the world. This is conveyed in the song From Now On, when he sings,

 From now on

These eyes will not be blinded by the lights
From now on
What's waited till tomorrow starts tonight
Tonight

Let this promise in me start

Like an anthem in my heart

From now on

It's hard to change. But by setting and reaching for goals, we can change and change the world. We have to decide that from now on, we are going to change ourselves, set those goals and then reach them. It's time to live by Nike's motto, "Just do it" and get to work. Make goals, set your standards high for yourself, and then take action. Reach for something higher and make a difference in the world by making a difference in your life. And it starts today. Change begins with a resolution, progresses with an action, and it snowballs into impacting lives around you.

Identity in Christ

Ever wonder where your sunglasses are, start rifling through every place you know of and then find them on your head? Have you ever left the keys in the door and then scoured the whole house for them? How about setting your coffee down somewhere and spent forever longing and looking for it?

Problems like these happen rather frequently, and often the issue in these situations is looking in the wrong place for something that isn’t there. This problem doesn't stop with misplaced objects, but rather often occurs when looking for things infinitely more important, and even when searching for our identity, for who we are and what we are worth as people. We search everywhere, seeking that one moment when we have the recognition we want, only to find it slips away, changes, or isn’t as we thought, and once again we’re lost in the search for significance. In our crowded and competitive world, the search for who we are is becoming ever more urgent. And sometimes we look in the wrong place.

Adam Levine sums up our anxious thoughts on who and what has the power to define us when he asks in his song Locked Away, “If I showed you my flaws if I couldn’t be strong, tell me honestly, would you still love me the same?” the mindset here is the common one of believing that what you do, defines you. Thankfully, the answer to who we are is given to us in the Bible, whenever it speaks of God’s love and the sacrifice He made for us.

In the next few moments I would like to encourage to acknowledge your worth in Christ, and realize that past mistakes or doubts of the future don't define you.


Most people search for their identity in other people or things. The web is filled with quotes on self-esteem and how to make yourself loved. The general opinion is that you are what you do, and for many people their job, their sport or their greatest accomplishment is how they define themselves. This is a works based approach to self-worth, and it does not provide the reassurance we desperately need. When you are always trying to please people, you lose a sense of who you truly are. People around us will always demand more from us, society and even others close to us often demand perfection and scorn us when we can't meet that standard. The result is confusion, sadness, and depression. Rather then turning to people or actions for our worth, we should look to God.

But in order to understand who we are to God, let’s first look at who we are compared to God. Because to understand the magnitude of His love, we should look at the significance of His sacrifice for us. Isaiah 40:15 says, “Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are regarded as dust on the scales; He weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.” We are one drop, tiny and insignificant next to the nations of all time.

That is what we should be worth to God. The good news is that He doesn't see us like that.

Compared to God we are nothing, but in His eyes we are everything.

No one can stand when measured up to the perfection and infinite majesty of God, but thankfully, He does not look at us in comparison to Him, rather He looks at us as His perfect creation which can bring glory to Himself, forgiven by His Son. And despite of who we are as sinners we are still loved by Him. To remember how great, how deep the Father's love for us is, we only have to look at his hands, look at His side. Christ’s love for us is greater than the drops in the ocean. And we are His children. His creation. Which He made in His image.

That is our identity as Christians. That is the promise we must run to in the midst of our daily life, the hope we can cling to. He should be the one place we go to for answers, the way we define ourselves. Go anywhere else and your looking in the wrong place, searching for something that is not there. Nothing we do, no acts of charity, no helping the poor, no receiving awards, not even winning nationals, could ever achieve the love we already have.

Our identity is complete in Christ alone.

So if you lost everything you thought made you who you are, if you could no longer be strong in the way you are expected, what would you be worth? If it seems that life would be hopeless, then you are looking in the wrong place for your identity and your salvation. We must realize that only Christ defines us, and while compared to Him we are nothing, in His eyes we are everything.