Wearing a mask

Run. Hide. Disguise. 

People don't like pain. We all know that. And we often believe that we cannot let others see our pain. We think they will abandon us, hurt us, or change the way they treat us. We fear that. So we run away from our pain because we don't want to deal with it and we don't want others to have to deal with it.

Mask. Obscure. Suppress.

We tell ourselves that we are loved because of the person we appear to be, not the person we truly are. When we are out in public or speaking to others we stay happy and bright. We wear a smile when we don't feel like it and keep our burdens to ourselves. When the pain starts to surface we suppress it. We build ourselves a castle out of emotional walls, and then those walls become our prison.

Lie. Cover. Bury.

Everyday we get up and we shoulder our pain like a backpack and we carry it with us everywhere we go. It gets heavy, but we don't let others see it. When people ask how we're doing we grin and say fine, how are you. We make friends and we let them into our lives, but we don't want them getting too close. The people who know us best have an idea that we are struggling, but everyone is struggling so they don't think anything of it.

This probably isn't you, but maybe it is.

I don't know you, I don't know your story, and I don't know if you are masking your pain. If you are, I don't know what it is. I'm not accusing you of anything and I'm not suggesting that you are hiding yourself from everyone. I don't know you. But I know me. And I know someone is out there somewhere who is believing they must do all those things: run, hide, disguise, mask, obscure, suppress, lie, cover, and bury their pain. If you do this then I cannot tell you to stop, that would be hypocritical of me. I can however tell you that you shouldn't shut everyone out because it hurts. People care about you and they won't run away if you let them get close. I know that pain hurts, but I've also discovered that you can't have joy without sorrow, you can't appreciate light without darkness, you don't know what freedom is until you have been chained. And if you let people in, if you be who you truly are and get rid of the mask then you will know true joy, light, and freedom. You will be happier and more real. You will appreciate that and people around you will appreciate that.

Like I said though, I don't know you so I can't assume anything about you and I am definitely not accusing you of doing this. I can only write in the hope that I can help someone somewhere escape their pain. I can only write about things I struggle with and am thinking about and want others to avoid. And if this isn't you, if you have no idea what I'm talking about when I mention wearing a mask, than that is great and I have a mission for you this holiday season. Behind every mask there is a face. Behind each face there is a story. Get to know someone's story. Break down the walls of the prison that they are keeping themselves in, ask them how they are doing and if you don't think the answer is honest, get to know them until you are confident that they aren't hiding their pain. They will thank you. Love has a powerful way of removing disguises and pain, so help someone out by getting to know who they truly are.

I do, however, want to add that not all masks are bad and some are even necessary. Almost everyone is wearing a mask at some point, we have to fill many different roles and they aren't always natural, so we fake it till we make it. Pretending to be happy sometimes is a necessity. But don't use that as an excuse to never reveal who you truly are. You should let people in from time to time.

Masks are a great thing to have in theatre, they make people become something they aren't for the sake of entertainment. When used every day though, the person becomes just an actor and the world becomes just an audience, watching but not truly seeing the person underneath. So the actor struggles alone and the world doesn't step in to help because they only see the act, not the struggling person. People dealing with pain would struggle less if they would accept help from the people put in their lives to help them. You need to let your walls down, drop your burden, and lower the mask that you use to disguise your pain. Unfortunately it would be hypocritical of me to tell you to stop wearing a mask and hiding your pain because I know how easy it is to hide. But I will tell you that you should open up and be honest with some people. Let others into your life and stop hiding, then you will know what it is to be joyful, light, and free.

But if you don't know what I'm talking about, if you have people who truly know you, and if you are open and honest with at least some people, then you can help spread joy. You can set people free by loving them and getting them to tell you their stories. Show them that they don't need to hide their pain. Because as much as we believe it's a necessity, we don't need to and we shouldn't wear a mask.