The importance of a name

Almost every conversation starts with, "Hi, my name is Elaine, what's yours?" Unfortunately about 20 seconds later the conversation comes to an awkward pause as we have to ask, “what was your name again?” And so starts the introduction process to get to know someone new. It all begins with a name. Our names are useful to say the least, most of us keep them for our whole lives, we sign our name on important documents, we are known by our name, and our name gets forgotten hundreds of times. But names are very important, they are how we are identified and they give us a send of dignity and pride. When someone says our name it can make us feel important or loved. And since names are so important, you would think that everyone goes out of their way to remember them. Unfortunately that’s not the case. We tend to forget names very quickly despite the fact that it is often in our best interest to remember them. I want to persuade you today that remembering names is important.

 You might think well I already know its important to remember names, I just cant do it as well as I’d like. Well, I’ve thought of that a few times but I realized that we become good at things that we put a lot of effort into. And we put effort into what is important to us. So if I show you that it is really important to remember names, then you might put more effort into it. Now maybe you’re one of those people who is great at remembering names and never forgets any of them, if that’s you then thank you and also I’m really jealous, but keep it up. For the rest of us though, names aren’t that easy so we'll examine how important they are in the hope that you will pay more attention to them.

So what's in a name? Why is it important? I've thought about this a lot recently because I realized that we love to name things. When I was younger everything had to have a name. We would name places, things, stuffed animals, pets. We do that because we like to feel like we are in control, we like to have a sense of pride in things that belong to us. Names have been used since the very beginning when God named us, Man and Woman. Then Adam was given the responsibility of naming things, I guess that just became a need for us. We all have an innate desire to name things and to be named. It gives us a sense of control and belonging. And if you can remember someone else's name, it makes them feel welcome and appreciated. In a sense, our name lends to our dignity, to our being human. Every single culture uses names to refer to people. Anyone who is human, has a name to go by. Names are so important to us, that one of the first things the Nazi's would do to lower morale was take away names. Prisoners were given a number to be identified by. When the soldiers did this, they removed part of their identity and began the process of stripping them of dignity. A name carries weight. It's a way of taking credit for things you have done. It's how you will be remembered, through a name the individual has a way of being part of history, and his or her deeds will exist separately from everyone else’s.

Dale Carnegie says, “A person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound to them in any language”. For me, that quote is very real. Imagine half the time you walk up to someone they call you someone else’s name or they ask you which one are you? Now imagine that happening to you for about 14 years of your life. After a while you get used to it. For me that was a reality. Unless I was wearing a nametag, half the time I got called the wrong name, by friends, peers, and even family. You see, I’m a twin. An identical twin. People always ask me what that’s like and I generally reply that its cool and uncool at the same time. I never hold it against people for not remembering my name, I understand that its difficult, and that makes it so much sweeter now when someone says my name. I understand the importance of remembering other people’s name because I know how much it means to me. When my sister and I started looking less alike people began to say my name more often, and it used to always surprise me. Whenever someone would say, “hi Elaine” I would look down to see if they were just reading my nametag because for the longest time people would only say my name if they could see my nametag first. Being a twin has given me an appreciation for names, and hopefully showing you how much it means to me has given you a reason to put more effort into remembering them.

Hopefully at this point I’ve persuaded you that remembering names is important, I’ve also probably made you feel pretty convicted. But I want to encourage you that you can do this. Let’s look at putting what we’ve learned into practice. There’s a couple of tricks we can use to remember names, I’ll explain three of them. The first way to remember names is to repeat it. Throughout the conversation you have with this person, say their name as much as you can, without sounding weird of course. Secondly, you can spell it out. Once they tell you their name either spell it in your head, or ask them how they spell it, especially if it’s a unique name. And as soon as your done with the conversation, go write it down or type it into your smart device so if you do happen to forget it you can go look it up later. The last tip for remembering names is something I hope I’ve helped you do in the last few minutes: choose to care. Yes, it does require effort, very few people are naturals at it and it’s hard to remember people’s names, especially if they’re twins. But if you think it’s important you will succeed in getting better with names.