You choose

There are things in your life you can't control, but it is your job, your duty, your gift, to change what you do have power over. That change comes with a simple choice.

Maybe life dealt you a hard blow. Perhaps things haven't been fair to you recently. When everything is going wrong and everything you love seems to be crumbling away, isn't it ok for you to complain? To be selfish? To cry and scream and sink into despair because of what has happened? Is it even possible to be happy and grateful despite what life throws in your face? In a world where we want control so much, it's frustrating to see people refuse to control simple things that they should be able to. Because I would say that yes, you do have a choice to be happy and grateful and humble no matter what happens. And yet, so many people insist that they simply can't help it if they are in a bad mood. We don't control everything, but what we can control we must. In the face of adversity, you don't have to be sad or selfish or a victim. You can have joy.

You choose your attitude

No matter who you are, I know there are people around you. Friends, enemies, teachers, coworkers, peers, students. We surround ourselves with different groups of people that influence us every day. And maybe you're a busy person, maybe you're not any good at stopping and having a real conversation, but have you ever considered your influence on others? Whether you know it or not, you are impacting people. Those people may be struggling, even more than you are. Those people might wish they could just get a smile or a kind word. Those people may need someone to remind them that they are loved. And despite how busy you are, despite how many of your problems you're occupied with, you can take time for others. You are in a place that you need to be in for a reason. Be you and change the people around you the way you are supposed to.

You choose your influence

You have people around you, but you want something more. A hand to hold, a person to be more than just friends with. It would just be nice if that person liked you back. Maybe it feels like you can't help but be sharp with everyone else because you're nursing a broken heart. No one understands how you're feeling and you just want to be let alone if they won't take the time to solve your problem. So you brush people aside, thinking you deserve to be terse with those around you. And yet...you won't find a solution in being harsh with those already in your life. Seeking after one particular person to the point that you brush others aside will only hurt you later. You can instead choose to be grateful for the people you do have and give your love to them. Despite how you may want to treat those around you, you don't have to push them away. 

You choose how you interact

You're stuck with your family. You didn't ask to be put in the house you are in with the parents and siblings that surround you constantly. You didn't get to choose where you were placed. And at times, they annoy you and anger you to the point that you just don't want to be around them. Maybe you're just ready to stop even trying to be nice to them, maybe you think it would be better if you retaliated. That's not what your reaction should be though. Love is harder than hate. Yet we are commanded to love. When your emotions seem to be getting the best of you, remember God's command to love. He hasn't given us an impossible mission either. It is within your power to react correctly. You cant control who your family is, but love or hate them, its up to you.

You choose your emotions

Ever find yourself wanting a break? Wishing the world would just stop throwing things at you? In those moments it feels like the only solution is to escape, to crawl back in bed and hide from the problems that bother you constantly. Ignoring the work you have to do is easier. Procrastinating is comfortable. But the ability to solve your problems is in your hands. You can act and address the challenges that are facing you. You rarely have power over your circumstances, but you always have power over the way you behave in them.

You choose your actions

Are you a perfectionist? Are your standards for yourself so high that you constantly find yourself "not enough"? Have you been chasing the worlds idea of beauty and fame? It's tempting, I know. We crave approval from people and search for praise. As humans, we simply want to be accepted and so we tend to seek after that whole heartedly, even when it's unhealthy. Doing that makes us slaves to the world, slaves to our own sin. There is good news though. We serve a Master who says we are enough. We are servants of a good and perfect King who loves us unconditionally. But we can't serve Him and the world. The world's ideas of perfection, fame, money, beauty, and success will call to us and try to draw us away from God. We can't stop that. We don't have power to make the world stop tempting us. There is a choice that we do have though. You can't serve two masters, so will you follow God or the world? Will you chase after the acceptance that you will never get enough of, or serve the Lord who already accepted you for who you are?

You choose your master

They hurt you. They let you down. Your trust and your heart are broken. You tell yourself that this is why you don't trust people, why you don't let them in, why you don't even show them any favor to begin with. Who cares if they apologized, forgiveness won't happen. How can it? How could anyone forgive someone that horrible? And moving on from it? Forget it. This hurt enough that you're sure you can never get passed it. Trust me, I understand that point of view. I know what it's like to hold on to injuries, to cling to my anger, and refuse forgiveness. I've felt the sting of a broken heart. I've suffered from my trust being broken. People have hurt me. But responding incorrectly only hurts worse. It may seem like you can't forgive, like this person doesn't deserve it. But you know what? We don't deserve it either. And yet forgiveness was freely given to us. None of our wrongs are counted against us because our sins are forgotten by God in light of Christ's sacrifice. So who are you to refuse forgiveness from someone who hurt you? If God, who is completely just and holy, forgave us, we can and must forgive. Your anger will only weigh you down and become a chain around your neck. It is for freedom that Christ set us free, so be free by returning evil with good and forgiving those who let you down. Yes, you were hurt, but yes, there is hope.

You choose your response

You have power over certain things, how will you choose to use it?

Being free

On July 4th every year Americans gather together all over the US to celebrate Independence Day. A day when we acknowledge our split with Britain by blowing stuff up and partying. We choose to lay aside our disagreements and forget our nation’s imperfections for the sake of a concept: freedom.

We recognize that the value of our freedom supersedes everything else our nation has to offer. The burden of a tyrannical government is an evil that we don't have to bear because long ago blood was spilled to throw them off our backs. American's know that freedom is worth fighting and dying for and that our liberty is the most important thing we have.

There is another kind of freedom that is also worth dying for. So valuable was this freedom that God sent His own perfect Son to die for it. This is a freedom that we often don't recognize. A liberty from enslavement that we tend to forget, or even, reject. The burden of sin is an evil that we don't have to bear because long ago blood was spilled that removed it from us and laid it on the shoulders of a King. Yet, so often, we trudge through life under the tyrannical rule of our sin.

 We have the ultimate freedom, a freedom that was bought with the ultimate sacrifice.

The Bible tells us that, "Rain falls on the just and the unjust" and we know that everyone goes through hard times. And yet Jesus says that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I used to wonder how that was possible. The apostle Paul definitely didn't seem to have an easy burden and I read stories of other missionaries who also suffered and died for the sake of the Gospel. If Christians went through so much for their faith, how could it be that His yoke is easy? What kind of freedom was that?

The burden of your sin and it's consequences is greater than anything Christ asks us to bear. Life is going to be hard, and if you accept Christ as your Savior it may get even harder. But because of the freedom we have from sin and the destruction that it leads to, our burden will be light. Not only that, He supplies us with the strength we need to continue in Him. When we take Christ’s burden upon us, He begins leading us away from the destructive path of sin and toward deepened peace and unexplainable joy. His power is made perfect in our weakness and it is in Him that we can find the courage to continue. 

We have the freedom to be completely honest about who we are and the mistakes we make because we know that He has forgiven us and calls us His. We have the freedom to know that we are loved no matter what, because Jesus Christ died for us. We have the freedom to beg forgiveness and nail our sins to the cross, because if we confess our sins and repent we are guaranteed forgiveness. We have the freedom to rejoice always because we know that He gives us the strength to do all things. We have the freedom to experience peace in the middle of great trials because our God is the God of peace and promises to never leave us or forsake us. We have the freedom to persevere, love in spite of pain, encourage others, and hope when life seems hopeless because we know that one day every tear will be wiped away. 

Without that freedom, nothing matters. With it, nothing else has to.

This freedom is given to everyone who repents and believes in the sacrifice Jesus Christ.

I know what enslavement to sin feels like. I know the weight of sin, of anger, of guilt, of disobedience and how those things can pressure you until it feels like you cant breathe. And I know that there is a peace that surpasses all understanding that encompasses you the moment you let go of your sin and accept the freedom Christ offers. Throw off your chains and celebrate your freedom in Christ.

Being careful

You don't know how many times in the last few months I've been told to be careful. It's been drilled into my head so much, it's become the theme of every situation I'm in. That's probably relatable to most teenagers. Be careful who you hang out with, be careful who you go eat with, be careful how you spend your time, be careful about what classes you take, be careful with how you spend your money, be careful with what message you're sending people and what words you say, be careful, be careful, be careful. It sounds annoying sometimes, such a far cry from the narrative the world gives us. Society tells us to be wild, free, rebellious. Do whatever we want with whoever we want whenever we want. Compared to that, being careful doesn't sound so bad. And it's not....

.....But is there a danger to being too careful?

A Paradox

Why is it that we never feel like we have enough time? And yet time seems to crawl by.

How is it that we are always aimed at the future? And yet we can't let go of the past.

Why are we always in a rush but never seem to get anything done?

How are we supposed to keep moving forward and yet pause and remember each moment?

With time comes wisdom, so why is it that the older we get the more we want our childhood back?

I think time, and the way it passes us by, is a paradox. It's impossible to catch a hold of, and yet there are moments that seem to freeze and stand still for you. Albert Einstein said that life is like riding a bike, you must keep moving to stay balanced. He's right, the second we stop planning or hoping or looking for the future is the moment that we lose our balance. And yet, we aren't supposed to take the present for granted, we need to pause and reflect on what we currently have, we need to slow down and breathe. There are those moments when you want time to freeze because everything seems perfect. So we must always keep moving forward, but we must stop and enjoy moments. We get excited about events in the future but once we're in them we don't appreciate them because we're already planning the next the thing, always looking forward to what happens next because that's how we stay balanced. It's a paradox. Maybe that's why time is so confusing for us. Our minds cannot comprehend the way it works. Managing it is such a complicated mystery. That's why we are so fascinated by the idea of eternity and what it would be like to enjoy it. Just trying to think about existing forever is confusing and wonderful. The way we view time and the future and the moments in front of us has contradictory qualities and is amazing to think about. Even just the way we grow up and look back on our life can be confusing. With time comes wisdom, and the older we grow the more we wish we could have our childhood back. There really is no right answer on how to view time or a solution to understanding it. 

All we can do is be thankful for each moment that we get and continue to be hopeful for what God has in store for us.

Relationships

Relationships, friendships, status, logistics, labels, feelings, emotions......all of it seems impossible to figure out. At least to me. But I'm sure I'm not alone, because all of these things become a confusing mess when we apply them to people, especially groups of people. And then life becomes quite a maze through which you have to navigate carefully so as not to step on people's toes or imply something or outright offend anyone. It's way too complicated. Yet, we all find ourselves at some point navigating this maze, so what do we do? Well, I have no idea. I'm just as confused as anyone. So I really can't offer much advice when it comes to dealing with people. Those of you who thought you might get something useful from this, y'all can just stop reading right here. Because when it comes to relationships and friendships and establishing different types of connections with people, I have no idea what I'm doing. But if you're just looking for some random thoughts or want to watch me try to figure this out, stick around. 

Like any good discussion, we must start this conversation with definitions. The world has twisted what our ideas of friendship and relationships should look like and the definitions don't really help. Marriam Webster defines friend as "One attached to another by affection or esteem" or "One that is not hostile" and Oxford dictionary defines it as "A person with whom one has a mutual bond of affection" or "One who is not an enemy".  

Friends are people you are friendly with, which doesn't really narrow things down since it is basically everyone. But there are different levels of friendship, you have close friends, best friends, friends you don't really like, friends you try to avoid. So friend is a pretty broad term......unless you add the word "boy" or "girl" in front of it. And then it becomes a really delicate topic that people have to tiptoe around. Because at that point people start using the term "Relationship", and who knows what that's supposed to mean. "Relationship" has an incredibly broad spectrum of definitions, so for the purpose of the next few minutes, let's just assume relationship refers to a situation where you are getting to know another person based on mutual respect. That way, it can encompass relationships with parents, friends, siblings, and strangers. And I know, that's not what many people think of when they use that word, but that is a lot closer to what it originally meant. 

So I think the question I'm trying to answer is: how do you create a deeper relationship with a guy or a girl without annoying/offending other people, making anything awkward, or ending a friendship? 

This is a very broad question that really applies to any situation with people, because we're always faced with opportunities to deepen friendships. What I want to do is just give some very broad advice, advice that has helped me as I find myself in this confusing mess.

1. Prioritize 

Maybe you've started to look for a relationship, maybe you want to start dating, or maybe you're just happy where you're at. Whichever situation you're in, the most important question you can ask is: "what does my relationship with God look like?" Christianity is so much more than a religion, it is a relationship! It is the most important relationship you will ever have! God promises to give us everything we need, He promises to give us His strength, and He promises us a hope and a future. That is so much more than any human could give you. So don't ever start to put other relationships before your relationship with Christ. Be constantly communicating with Him and constantly seeking to do His will. Prioritize your relationship with God first.

2. Respect

The need for respect can never be overstated. Put the interest of others first, treat everyone like you would want to be treated, and recognize the value of their opinions. Forming new friendships or entering into a relationship doesn't give you an excuse to distance yourself from other friends. Just because you start dating doesn't mean you can disrespect any of your relationships by taking time away from them. Your relationships with your friends, parents, siblings and other people in your life must remain stable. If you respect all the people that you have formed a relationship with, then you will dedicate time to those situations as well as deepening one specific connection. Respect will prevent you from offending/annoying others as well as abandoning the people in your life. 

3. Capitalize

Recently I was around about 450 people for an entire week. During this time I wrote in one of my journals, "There are too many options, too many directions in which I am being pulled. I try to make good use of my time, but it feels impossible right now." There are times in our life that feel like this. And we should question if we are using our time correctly, but we can't let it haunt us constantly. We must make the most of each situation we are in. God put you where you are with the people you know for a reason. Capitalize on each moment with them. Ask yourself how you can make an impact on their day. We MUST make the most of each opportunity. All we can do is seek God's will in each situation as it comes and trust that He is using us the way that will honor Him and benefit us. 

I don't have all the answers. Relationships and friendships and labels....all of it still confuses me. But I have decided that that's ok, maybe even good. I love the people I'm around, I'm thankful for everyone God has placed in my life. And I am constantly dependent on Him to show me how to manage my time around people to influence them in a way that glorifies Him. Please remember to put your relationship with God ahead of everything else in your life. He will show you how to respect others, even in tricky situations. He will teach you how to capitalize on each moment you have with people, even if it feels like you're being pulled in a hundred different directions. 

Random Thoughts

This week I had a bunch I wanted to write about, but I couldn't condense it into one topic. I really wanted to post though, so here's a bunch of random thoughts of mine. Maybe you'll relate to some, laugh over others, or even learn something new. Who knows? But I would really appreciate you letting me know what you thought in the comments section and sending this post to a friend or two. Thanks!

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Dear friend,
You could never understand how much of an inspiration you've been to me. I love hanging out with you and the way you always make me feel wanted. Seeing you go through a hard time is tough, I know you're strong enough to make it through this though. Persevere, never give up, cling to hope. Smile and remember that there is joy. Please know that I'm always here for you, if you reach out for help I'd be there in a heartbeat. Remember that you're not alone. I wish I could lift you up like you've lifted me up so many times. Stay strong.

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It's been a year. A year and one week to be exact. For one year now I have coached gymnastics, and honestly it's changed me so much. I've had to do things in never imagined doing and learned a lot. And I've had the privilege of watching so many kids grow. Throughout this year, I have coached hundreds of kids and been able to see myself through their eyes. I realized that I am leaving a legacy on them. And my legacy is a lot more than "the coach who tells jokes" or "that coach who let's us on the trampoline". The impact I try to make goes deeper than that. I hope that I leave a legacy of being the coach who will make you smile, the coach who never forgets a name, a coach who is worth imitating.

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Why do I write?

Because I have so much to say, but no one to talk to.
Because my emotions need an outlet, and yet I am trapped in my room.
I feel hidden, yet words give me courage.
I'm always in the shadows, but I want a platform.
Words come easy to me, but speaking them is a struggle.
Conversations are great, but don't portray the depth of my ideas.
My thoughts are constantly moving and it seems like everyone else goes too slowly.
I really need to write, it's my way of thinking clearly, the emotions build up constantly.
The world is so confusing, but it sorts itself out on paper when you just put thoughts into words. 
But I think I write also because I want to make an impact. I want to inspire people. I want to feel close to people. I want to help people who struggle with things I struggled with. I never want people to feel unwanted. I want people to feel understood. And I want to be understood. Words are my way of doing that.

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We all hold on to burdens for too long. And then they become a part of us and influence decisions, until we hardly recognize that they are there. The reality is that we all go through hard times. We all experience pain that we think is unbearable. Then we become victims, clinging to our pain, refusing to move on. Until our identity is wrapped up in that childhood wound. This way, we will never find peace. We have to realize that our pain doesn't make us unique. No, we are unique because of how we choose to deal with that pain. Our reactions to hardship make us who we are, not the hardship itself. So let go. Acknowledge what happened and move on. Find peace and reclaim your identity. React to your hardships by pushing through them and putting them behind you. Let go.

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The future is a scary thought. Graduations are coming up and we're watching people leave, life is changing, we are almost done with another year of school. Everyone wants to change the world, but few people actually have a practical plan to do that. What will you choose to do? The future isn't that scary if you know what you want to accomplish and how to accomplish it. You have a life that you can make an impact with. The future is yours for the taking, what are you gonna do with it? I hope you choose to influence lives and change the world.

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People are so interesting. And it's weird how I can love them and hate them at the same time. They are all so complicated and I can't ever figure them out. Often I find myself needing a break from them, and then just as quickly I realize I miss them all. The people in our life are placed there for a reason, though we sometimes don't know what that reason is. Some people are there to teach us patience and kindness when all you want to do is scream. Some people are there to help us through our toughest times. And just when you think you've met the weirdest person, someone comes and blows your mind. But really, people are awesome. Friends are amazing. And yes, everyone's complicated and confusing, but that's what makes life so interesting. 

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Well, that's all folks. Hope you enjoyed my random mess of thoughts this week. Stay tuned for more and don't forget to share this with friends. Until next time just remember, it's the courage to continue that counts

Gratitude: Assisting in the search for love

There are a few things that unite all of us, a couple of interests we have in common. But there’s one really big one that we all share. In fact, I was at a Rangers baseball game on Sunday and looked around at the thousand people there and marveled at how different we all were. But I also wondered, is there one thing that connects us all? That everyone can relate to? I discovered that there was. It’s our search for love. We all deeply desire to be loved and know that we’re loved. Loved unconditionally, loved for who we are, loved for what we contribute. And we search for that in everything we do, it drives us and we hurt deeply when we feel the lack of it. Today I could tell you where to find that love, I could tell you that you already have it, that would be a very uplifting, optimistic, and true message. But today I want to expound on something a little more convicting to most of us: Showing that love to others. Specifically, gratitude. Because if you really think about the love we’re shown every day, we have a lot to be grateful for. If we think about the fact that everyone around you wants to feel appreciated, then maybe we’ll be more willing to show that appreciation.

We here this word gratitude a lot and commonly understand that it’s a good thing and we should be grateful. I have to ask though when’s the last time you told someone you were grateful for them? And when’s the last time you really took a minute to count your blessings? See, gratitude isn’t just an attitude, it requires action. It’s not just a mindset or a thought, it’s an expression. Being grateful is also commanded by God. 1^st Thessalonians 5:18 says, “ in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Notice this verse doesn’t say, “When things are going well, give thanks.” Nor does it tell us to simply think about being thankful. Rather we are commanded to express that thankfulness to God for everything He’s given us. We have to remember that everything we have is a gift, freely given to us by God. James 1:7 tells us, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” Our faithful, unchanging, all-knowing Father has given us every good thing we have. Not only that, but we are told in Scripture that we have everything we need. The book of Psalms is filled with commands to give thanks to God so each and every day we must be grateful. First and foremost our gratitude should be directed to the Lord, but I think we also should be thankful for the people in our lives.

Colossians 2:6-7 says, “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” Think about it, if we’re overflowing with thankfulness, we would be grateful to the people around us. Unfortunately, we tend to be pretty self-centered. We’re often too absorbed in our own search for love to even notice that same need in others. Sometimes we don’t even recognize the value of another person’s influence on our lives, much less take time to be grateful for it. Do the people around you even know that you’re thankful for them? Honestly, people are the most important things in this world. God has placed these people around us for a reason. Make sure they understand that they are appreciated. When we look at the letters that Paul sent to the churches and to Timothy, we see his gratitude overflowing for them. We should follow that example.

When situations arise and you feel like you’re in the midst of the worst problem ever, look for things you’re grateful for. Remind yourself that you have all you need and then praise God for that. Look around you at the people who support you, help you, encourage you, and motivate you, and be thankful for them. Your focus will turn from being just on yourself to being on God and on others. Thankfulness will make your situation better at least a little bit. And in this way, the people around us who are desperately searching for love and recognition can get a glimpse of it. Gratitude isn’t just a thought, it’s a command. Live it out in your life.

Perseverance

Recently, I’ve learned a very important lesson, one that you would have thought I’d have learned sooner. Disney movies aren’t just for kids. In fact, I realized that Disney movies make up my top 5 favorites. This realization came a few weeks ago while my brothers were watching Cars and I was supposed to be doing school. Remember what happens at the ending when Lightning McQueen is speeding toward the finish line about to win? The King of Dinoco just wrecked, McQueen sees it as he is about to cross the line, what happens? 

He stops. 

He loses the race. In one second McQueen gave up a dream he had chased for a lifetime. And he turned around. He got behind King and pushed him toward the finish line. Because all of a sudden, an old friend finishing the race was more important then the trophy he had always wanted. That mindset shift is what I want you all to have today. I want to focus on the principle behind McQueen's action, that everyone should finish their race. That means you, and everyone around you.

That quality is called perseverance.

Hebrews 12:1 says, “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us.” We easily get bogged down in little things that distract us from our real race. We have to throw that off and persevere in what is before us. What is that though? Why must we persevere and what are we headed toward? Paul answers that question for us in Philippians 3:13-14, “Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” We should strive for holiness and to be more Christ-like every day. The upward call of God in Christ Jesus is our ultimate goal. Continue toward things that glorify God. Persevere in things that make you more like Christ.

That’s not easy. Life isn’t a perfect Disney world where everything is always going to be ok. And you see, we love new things, celebrate new years, are excited about new speeches, but it’s not as fun toward the end of it. When that new and exciting quality wears off, and we’re faced with hardships and trials again, we wonder how to persevere and where we will find the strength or desire to do so. But we have to see things out to the end. Because that’s what truly matters.

One of my favorite quotes, shockingly not from a Disney movie, is by Winston Churchill. This quote has been the theme of my last few years as well as the title of this blog and it sums up this idea of finishing our race. He says, 

              “Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” 

The courage to continue is what matters. Things seem better and more enjoyable when they’re new, but the reward is in finishing them.

Stick with things to the end.

Romans 12: 11-12 tells us to be “not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer” Diligent, fervent, persevering, devoted. That’s what we must be in everything we do.

And don’t just persevere for your sake, but help others finish their race as well. For the sake of helping out a friend, lightning Mcqueen sacrificed a dream and pushed someone else across the finish line. Throughout this year, some of you have been Lightning McQueen. You have gotten behind me and pushed me toward the finish line. To you, I have to say thank you. I’m writing this because of your perseverance. I want to encourage all of you to do that. Help others have the courage to continue. The year is closing, but continue to encourage one another.

James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

It is our joy to persevere so that we won’t be lacking.

Just this year, I’ve had some pretty impressive failures. I’ve also reached some goals. We all have had our ups and downs this year. We must continue to speak boldly and change this world for Christ. I don’t know what's happening next in your life, but I do know that we must press on to the upward calling of Jesus Christ. We have been equipped to do that, we have the strength and the tools. All we need is the courage to continue.

When "I miss you" isn't enough

I miss my friends.

Most of you know that I compete in public speaking league called Stoa and get to go all over the country competing at tournaments. And those people I compete against? They are my best friends. Many of them live in a different state. I see these people for three or four days in a row each tournament and then I don’t see them again for months. And right now? That hurts. I find myself so often sending them a message with the words “I miss you”. But it doesn’t feel right. Those words are supposed to mean that you think fondly of the moments you've had with someone and you can't wait to see them again. That comes nowhere near describing what I feel. “I miss you” can’t describe how much I love them and want to be with them again. It doesn’t explain the way I long to create new memories with them or how thoroughly I’ve enjoyed every second with them. “I miss you” sounds so inadequate. 

People talk about, sing about, and write about heartbreak and the pain of missing people you love. That is what I feel right now but about multiple friends who I love and want to see again. And I know, that’s odd for me to say being an introvert and all. But I love speech and debate tournaments because I get to see people. Normally I miss them after tournaments but I know exactly when I’ll see them again so the missing them is tempered by the expectation of seeing them soon. Right now though, I don’t know the next time I’ll see many of my friends. Many of them I won’t see for five or six months. It’s sad. Maybe the solution is just to not make friends that I will miss, then I won’t have to deal with the separation. But ya know, I wouldn’t trade those friendships for anything in the world. I don’t regret being friends with these amazing people. Because knowing them has changed me and significantly improved my life. So though it's hard to be apart from them for so long, knowing them makes it worth it. Having someone close enough to you that you can say “I miss you” when you’re apart is valuable.

The really sad thing is that we often don’t cherish the moments we do have. It’s sometimes easy to take friendships for granted, or even take people for granted. When we’re around someone constantly we aren’t thinking about how hard life will be once they’re gone. I want to encourage you today to cherish your friendships. Value the people in your life right now. Because graduation is coming up. Chances are, you know someone who will be taking the next step in life and moving away. Spend time with them and show them that you love them. Yes, it will be hard when they leave, but make the most of the moments you have with them. So that even though “I miss you” will be said, you won’t have to regret time taken for granted or moments that were wasted. 

Because of my many long distance friendships, I miss so many people. It is hard. I hate when I begin to forget the sound of their voice or memories we shared begin to fade. Yet I’m so glad for them. I don’t take any of my friends for granted and every moment around them is precious because I know that I will miss them later. Right now, I just have to deal with that feeling of loneliness. But if you ever see me randomly burst into laughter, it’s because I am remembering that odd conversation in the hallway. Or if I suddenly begin to tear up, I’m probably thinking of deep conversations I’ve had with a close friend. I miss spending that time with those friends, but I’m grateful for them and I eagerly wait for the next time I’ll see them.

I say “I miss you” every single day, multiple times a day, to many different people. It isn’t enough. It doesn’t explain how badly I want to see them and how lonely I feel right now. But it’s all I have. It has to be enough. So please, cherish your friendships. And if you’re feeling lonely, if someone you love feels far away, tell them you miss them. Remind yourself of the good times you’ve spent with them. Because friendships are worth it. People are worth it. 

My Dream

One of my all-time favorite movies is Tangled, because it shows the value of chasing after dreams. And one of my all-time favorite songs is from Tangled, it's called I See the Light. Every time something good happens, I think of that song. Likewise, hearing the lyrics reminds me of all the good things in my life. Recently, one of my biggest dreams came true and naturally, I was thinking a lot about Tangled and the lyrics to this song were constantly in my head. Afterward, one of my friends asked me, "So, what's your new dream?" I couldn't really give a legitimate answer because I hadn't thought about it a lot.

Now I know.

My dream is to save lives.

Interesting dream, right? I know it sounds crazy and idealistic. Obviously it's a good thing and most people want to do it, but why is that one of my biggest goals in life? And how in the world am I going to accomplish it?

It's my dream for two reasons. First, I believe too many people die too young of things that are preventable, one thing in particular. Second, I can relate to the problem that I want to fix on multiple levels.

How will I accomplish it? By spreading hope. We all know that hope is important, but I believe it can also save lives. What if saving lives didn't require any special skill? What if we all could do it? 

This year I wrote a speech on depression and have performed it at tournaments in multiple states throughout the year. Ever since the beginning of the year, I have wanted to post it for you guys to read. On several different Monday's I told myself I was posting that speech, and several different times a balked. I rewrote it, reformatted it, changed it, edited it, but every time I was too afraid. What if I put an idea into someone's head? What if I become responsible for something? What if I'm wrong? But I realized that not speaking wasn't the right action. I like to think of my blog as a platform. And in moments of illusion I tell myself that I can use this platform to change the world. Even to save lives. So with the information I know, why haven't I raised awareness? With how passionate I am about depression, why haven't I spoken up more about it?

 Well, there is no shortage of excuses and honestly, they are legitimate reasons. Depression is hard to talk about. It's controversial, so the chances of me being wrong or you disagreeing with me are very high. It's personal for many people, so it's likely I offend someone (though I promise I don't mean to). And I don't have all the answers, so maybe I make life worse for someone or give false hope. However, there is a problem that you and I can help solve, so the least I can do is raise awareness. It wasn't until a few days ago that this fact, that we can help right now, really impacted me. I decided I need to speak up. Because here's the thing: depression is a disease that is taking lives every day. And in the moments  when it's not taking lives, it's making some people's lives miserable. Very little I say can be worse than me saying nothing (at least, that's what I hope).

So here's what I know: Depression effects 16.2 million adults, 1 out of 8 adolescents, and 360 million people globally. Every 100 seconds it claims another life. Don't take my word for it, go research it. The numbers are there, we just have to find them. And these aren't just statistics. They are more than numbers on a page. These are real people with real stories who just don't think there's an end to the pain. How can we help them? How can we save lives? I believe that the cure for depression is joy. True joy. Sounds simple enough, but it can be very difficult. 

 Yes, depression is a sad reality for many, but it doesn't have to be, and no one ever has to let it defeat them. In 2nd Corinthians 12:9 God says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” In our weakness, His power to give us joy is made perfect. The command "rejoice in the Lord always" isn't a burden, it's a gift. It's the solution to depression. Joy doesn’t mean always being happy, or always smiling, or always shouting to the world in exuberance. It can be the quiet pleasure of realizing God is in control and every moment is for His glory. We have hope in God’s grace and power to give us joy. 

For some people though, it seems impossible to cling to hope for another second. For some, that joy seems nonexistent and that truth seems unbelievable. 

That's where you and I can help. My dream is to hear people's stories, understand their pain, and help them find the solution. I know that I want to dedicate the rest of my life to fighting for those who don't see a reason to fight anymore. There's three steps that I think can help people struggling with depression find a way out, steps that I implore you to take with the people around you. 

 1. Deepen your relationships. Statistically speaking, you know someone who is struggling right now, you can help by discovering who that is and understanding them through a deeper relationship. 

2. Tell them they're not alone. Loneliness is painful, and people struggling with depression don't feel like anyone is there for them or understands them. Make sure the people around you know that you love them and are there for them. 

3. Speak truth. For those who think they are unloved or can’t continue, the Bible provides all the answers. Show them that God is in control, His power is perfect in weakness, and He can give us the strength to rejoice in Him. By speaking the truth, you are reaffirming the ability to find joy in the most hopeless situations.

It took me a while to speak up. I hesitated for longer than I should. But I realized that, often, we don't help until it's too late. And then the regrets are overwhelming. So I implore you: join me in trying to save lives. Make that your dream. Statistically speaking, you know someone struggling right now, chances are you know who it is too, or at least you have your suspicions. Ask until you know you're getting an honest answer. Figure out people's struggles, sympathize with their pain, and show them that there is joy. I know that I can make a difference. But all of us working together? We can make an impact, a ripple of joy that can touch millions of hearts and change lives. If we all choose joy, we can show others that there is a reason to rejoice. 

The penny.....and us

According to superstition, pennies are supposed to bring luck. Recently, the opposite has been happening. How much effect can a penny have? Well, quite a lot. Pennies waste 120 hours every year and cost 1.5 cents to produce. By simply no longer minting pennies we could save $16 billion each year. The one-cent coin has a tremendous impact on our economy. Something that seems so insignificant, that we walk past or tread on or shove into sock drawers, actually has significance. 

I don't know what you're going through in your life right now, but I do know that sometimes it's very easy to feel insignificant. In those moments we feel like the penny: forgotten, thrown away, walked past, unnoticed. 

And it's painful. 

But you have a bigger impact and more significance than you know. Think about all the people that know you, all your family and extended family members, co-workers, friends, enemies and acquaintances. You have touched all of their lives in some way. Now I don't know if that's been positive or negative, significant or insignificant, but I do know that you are around enough people that adding up all those interactions would equal a pretty significant impact. So in some way, you are making a difference in your world. People do know you, and I'm willing to bet that you can think people who love you. Lives are changed because of you, your life has significance. 

No matter how small you seem, your impact is great. 

We can be reassured by that and have hope because of that. But our hope should not be founded in that. Because our significance goes far beyond our impact on society. We are important because we are loved by God. We may feel like a drop in the ocean, a penny on a street corner, insignificant and lost and hopeless. But God who is rich in mercy, who created us, sent His only Son to die for us. His love for us is more than the drops in the ocean. We are significant to Him, we are rescued by Him, we are loved by Him, we will never be forgotten by Him. Loneliness is painful, but we never have to experience it because we have a God who promises to never leave us or forsake us. 

Pennies right now are seen as small, but their impact is tremendous. You and I have an impact on people, even in the moments when we feel lost. So don't let yourself believe that you are forgotten or worthless. Don't convince yourself that you are insignificant. Even seemingly little things have an enormous impact. And you have been purchased with the precious blood of Christ. Jesus says that not even a sparrow falls to the ground apart from God, and we are more valuable than many sparrows. We are noticed, cared for, and loved. We are important, valuable, and precious. 

Joy

Listen to Joy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu-8EoJFmxc

"It is the calm water
In the middle of an anxious sea.
Where heavy clouds part and the sunrise starts
A fire in the deepest part of me.

So I let go and in this moment, I can breathe."

At this point, what would you guess these lyrics are describing? 

They're from the song "Joy" by Sleeping at Last and, in my opinion, they do a great job summarizing what joy is. Because joy is hard to describe, we know we're commanded to be joyful, we know it's a Fruit of The Spirit, we know it lasts longer than happiness, but the comparisons the song makes gives us a good picture of what joy is like. That first verse mentioned calm water in the middle of an anxious sea, which is a great way to describe joy in my busy life. The feeling of joy seems to calm everything around me down. 

 "A silver lining spilling over,

The rumor of buried treasure,
The starting line of an adventure,
It's a glimpse of light in a mine of gold."

All of these are metaphors that the song gives for joy. My favorite is a glimpse of light in a mine of gold. Picture that. Imagine a mine. A gold mine. Deep down in the earth. Cold. So dark you don't even have hope of seeing anything until you approach the surface again. No light. Complete blackness envelops you, so thick it almost seems tangible.

 And then someone strikes a match.

 All of a sudden the whole room sparkles, the light is reflected from every point in the room and everything shines. The darkness disappears because of that glimpse of light.

 Joy is that glimpse of light in a gold mine. Joy is the feeling you get when you receive a 100% on your hardest test, when you and your family are laughing about something amazing that just happened, when you're so happy you want to burst. Joy can transform the darkest day into the best, put a positive spin on anything, and light up a room. And yet, joy can be quiet as well. We can't always laugh, hard times do hit us, and we don't always feel amazing or positive. Joy doesn’t mean always being happy, or always smiling, or always shouting to the world in exuberance. It can be the quiet pleasure of realizing God is in control and every moment is for Hs glory. We have hope in God’s grace and power to give us joy even when we don't feel like it. And that joy doesn't disappear.

 "It's the brightest sparks that we remember.

When our eyes are closed, we still see embers"

 Joy is lasting, something we can always feel the effects from. We can always let go of our burdens and sorrows and get a glimpse of joy. And in that moment we can breathe. Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice." We are commanded to have joy. Even when we don't feel like we can be joyful, God can give us the strength to rejoice. Ephesians 3:20 says, "“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Lasting joy is supplied by God, who has the power to accomplish more in us than we could even ask for. It is possible to be joyful always. The command "rejoice in the Lord always" is not a burden, it's a gift and a blessing because God makes us able to rejoice. So that when our eyes are closed, we still see embers of joy that brighten our lives. 

Don't let go of joy. Seek it, ask for it, find it. Be joyful and spread joy, because people will look at you rejoicing and be inspired by it. Joy will give you calm in the middle of your anxious times. Our life is a gold mine, and joy provides the light that illuminates every part of it. 

Confidence

Today, we have a problem. We have a box, and we don’t like to go outside of it. Then slowly that box becomes our prison and we are bound by shyness, fear, and anxiety. The main solution is confidence. Confidence is a requirement for most things in life, without out it, we wouldn’t try new things or talk to new people, or even leave a message on a phone. Confidence allows us to throw off our chains and step out of our box. Sometimes we have it, sometimes we don’t. I want to share with you a couple of ways that make us more confident. I hope you put them into practice because, in my humble opinion, I believe that confidence is the number one key to success. 

From the moment you walk into a room, you’re giving off numerous signs that hint at whether you’re confident or nervous. To have an image of confidence, one of the first things you have to fix is your stance. An anxious person will tend to shift their feet constantly or put weight more on one leg communicating the readiness to move. Keep your feet balanced and planted firmly. Our hands also play a big part in our image, for example, holding on to a water bottle is fine, we can occasionally take sips from it and look calm and cool while holding it. But twisting the cap back and forth or squeezing it too tightly makes you look anxious, which is a nervous habit I am working on breaking. Our hands are a big communicator to others, so what we do with them has a big impact on how we appear, Business Insider reports that holding them still and in the open makes us look honest, calm, and confident. Lastly, we have to fix our posture. Posture is the first thing people notice about us when we enter a room. So to appear confident stand shoulders back and head up, don’t be afraid to make eye contact and smile. Over the last few months, I’ve started to try to appear more confident in front of people. To do that, I developed a drill. Every time I walked through a door I would fix my posture. Behind that door I could be freaking out, eyes downcast, worried. But the second I walked between the door posts I would work on raising my chin and standing tall. Now, whenever I walk through a door, it’s automatic. It’s a good habit to get into and it helps make you appear in control.

Having an image of confidence is one thing, the voice of confidence is very different. Often the reason we are nervous or unconfident is because we were put in a situation where we have to speak……to people. To truly be confident we have to have a voice that conveys that confidence. Caroline Goyder, a voice coach and public speaker, says that the number one key to confident speaking is breathing. Not with your chest, but using your diaphragm. Now, we don’t think about our diaphragm a whole lot, but it’s the key, it’s how you calm yourself down in that moment when people are watching you. We often tend to breathe only with our chest, taking shallow, quick breaths. Instead, we should be deeply breathing.

There are also some great speaking tips that can make your voice sound confident. One of the most important things to speaking more confidently is not saying um. Lillian Glass, author and body language expert, says that cutting out “um” and “like” makes us seem more articulate, direct, and confident.

But being confident is more than just sounding and looking like it, it’s more then just a façade. To truly step out of our box and break our chains of fear we must learn how to feel confident. We can experience this feeling by doing a few things. The first is hugging people. U.S. Health news reports that when we hug someone it releases oxytocins in our brain triggering a drop in stress hormones and slowing our heart rate. So next time you’re stressed, give someone a hug. If you’re really not a hugging person though there are still ways to feel confident. Huffington Post says that squeezing stress balls reduces tension and reminds tightened muscles to relax. When we release the tension we can breathe easier and be more confident about whatever we’re about to do. Peppermint also reduces stress, so eating a mint when you’re anxious will help calm you down.

I can tell you from personal experience that all of these methods do help me feel and look more confident. Unfortunately, not for long. They work for a little while, calm my nerves, help me to feel better about what I’m about to do, but I have to keep coming back to them again and again. There is only one source of confidence that does last. God’s word. Lasting confidence comes from trust in God and His power to work through us not matter how badly we mess up. Philippians 4:6 says, “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God.” We are commanded to stop being anxious and pray.

I know what nerves are like. I know the grip that anxiety can have on us and how fear can immobilize us and persuade us to stay in our box. But I also know the peace that flows through me after a friend has prayed with me, and I am so thankful for the way people around me have reminded me to have confidence in God. By trusting in God, I have been able to change my stance, breath deeply and fix my posture so that I can step out of my box, break my chains, and do whatever the Lord asks me to with confidence.