When "I miss you" isn't enough

I miss my friends.

Most of you know that I compete in public speaking league called Stoa and get to go all over the country competing at tournaments. And those people I compete against? They are my best friends. Many of them live in a different state. I see these people for three or four days in a row each tournament and then I don’t see them again for months. And right now? That hurts. I find myself so often sending them a message with the words “I miss you”. But it doesn’t feel right. Those words are supposed to mean that you think fondly of the moments you've had with someone and you can't wait to see them again. That comes nowhere near describing what I feel. “I miss you” can’t describe how much I love them and want to be with them again. It doesn’t explain the way I long to create new memories with them or how thoroughly I’ve enjoyed every second with them. “I miss you” sounds so inadequate. 

People talk about, sing about, and write about heartbreak and the pain of missing people you love. That is what I feel right now but about multiple friends who I love and want to see again. And I know, that’s odd for me to say being an introvert and all. But I love speech and debate tournaments because I get to see people. Normally I miss them after tournaments but I know exactly when I’ll see them again so the missing them is tempered by the expectation of seeing them soon. Right now though, I don’t know the next time I’ll see many of my friends. Many of them I won’t see for five or six months. It’s sad. Maybe the solution is just to not make friends that I will miss, then I won’t have to deal with the separation. But ya know, I wouldn’t trade those friendships for anything in the world. I don’t regret being friends with these amazing people. Because knowing them has changed me and significantly improved my life. So though it's hard to be apart from them for so long, knowing them makes it worth it. Having someone close enough to you that you can say “I miss you” when you’re apart is valuable.

The really sad thing is that we often don’t cherish the moments we do have. It’s sometimes easy to take friendships for granted, or even take people for granted. When we’re around someone constantly we aren’t thinking about how hard life will be once they’re gone. I want to encourage you today to cherish your friendships. Value the people in your life right now. Because graduation is coming up. Chances are, you know someone who will be taking the next step in life and moving away. Spend time with them and show them that you love them. Yes, it will be hard when they leave, but make the most of the moments you have with them. So that even though “I miss you” will be said, you won’t have to regret time taken for granted or moments that were wasted. 

Because of my many long distance friendships, I miss so many people. It is hard. I hate when I begin to forget the sound of their voice or memories we shared begin to fade. Yet I’m so glad for them. I don’t take any of my friends for granted and every moment around them is precious because I know that I will miss them later. Right now, I just have to deal with that feeling of loneliness. But if you ever see me randomly burst into laughter, it’s because I am remembering that odd conversation in the hallway. Or if I suddenly begin to tear up, I’m probably thinking of deep conversations I’ve had with a close friend. I miss spending that time with those friends, but I’m grateful for them and I eagerly wait for the next time I’ll see them.

I say “I miss you” every single day, multiple times a day, to many different people. It isn’t enough. It doesn’t explain how badly I want to see them and how lonely I feel right now. But it’s all I have. It has to be enough. So please, cherish your friendships. And if you’re feeling lonely, if someone you love feels far away, tell them you miss them. Remind yourself of the good times you’ve spent with them. Because friendships are worth it. People are worth it.