Confidence

Today, we have a problem. We have a box, and we don’t like to go outside of it. Then slowly that box becomes our prison and we are bound by shyness, fear, and anxiety. The main solution is confidence. Confidence is a requirement for most things in life, without out it, we wouldn’t try new things or talk to new people, or even leave a message on a phone. Confidence allows us to throw off our chains and step out of our box. Sometimes we have it, sometimes we don’t. I want to share with you a couple of ways that make us more confident. I hope you put them into practice because, in my humble opinion, I believe that confidence is the number one key to success. 

From the moment you walk into a room, you’re giving off numerous signs that hint at whether you’re confident or nervous. To have an image of confidence, one of the first things you have to fix is your stance. An anxious person will tend to shift their feet constantly or put weight more on one leg communicating the readiness to move. Keep your feet balanced and planted firmly. Our hands also play a big part in our image, for example, holding on to a water bottle is fine, we can occasionally take sips from it and look calm and cool while holding it. But twisting the cap back and forth or squeezing it too tightly makes you look anxious, which is a nervous habit I am working on breaking. Our hands are a big communicator to others, so what we do with them has a big impact on how we appear, Business Insider reports that holding them still and in the open makes us look honest, calm, and confident. Lastly, we have to fix our posture. Posture is the first thing people notice about us when we enter a room. So to appear confident stand shoulders back and head up, don’t be afraid to make eye contact and smile. Over the last few months, I’ve started to try to appear more confident in front of people. To do that, I developed a drill. Every time I walked through a door I would fix my posture. Behind that door I could be freaking out, eyes downcast, worried. But the second I walked between the door posts I would work on raising my chin and standing tall. Now, whenever I walk through a door, it’s automatic. It’s a good habit to get into and it helps make you appear in control.

Having an image of confidence is one thing, the voice of confidence is very different. Often the reason we are nervous or unconfident is because we were put in a situation where we have to speak……to people. To truly be confident we have to have a voice that conveys that confidence. Caroline Goyder, a voice coach and public speaker, says that the number one key to confident speaking is breathing. Not with your chest, but using your diaphragm. Now, we don’t think about our diaphragm a whole lot, but it’s the key, it’s how you calm yourself down in that moment when people are watching you. We often tend to breathe only with our chest, taking shallow, quick breaths. Instead, we should be deeply breathing.

There are also some great speaking tips that can make your voice sound confident. One of the most important things to speaking more confidently is not saying um. Lillian Glass, author and body language expert, says that cutting out “um” and “like” makes us seem more articulate, direct, and confident.

But being confident is more than just sounding and looking like it, it’s more then just a façade. To truly step out of our box and break our chains of fear we must learn how to feel confident. We can experience this feeling by doing a few things. The first is hugging people. U.S. Health news reports that when we hug someone it releases oxytocins in our brain triggering a drop in stress hormones and slowing our heart rate. So next time you’re stressed, give someone a hug. If you’re really not a hugging person though there are still ways to feel confident. Huffington Post says that squeezing stress balls reduces tension and reminds tightened muscles to relax. When we release the tension we can breathe easier and be more confident about whatever we’re about to do. Peppermint also reduces stress, so eating a mint when you’re anxious will help calm you down.

I can tell you from personal experience that all of these methods do help me feel and look more confident. Unfortunately, not for long. They work for a little while, calm my nerves, help me to feel better about what I’m about to do, but I have to keep coming back to them again and again. There is only one source of confidence that does last. God’s word. Lasting confidence comes from trust in God and His power to work through us not matter how badly we mess up. Philippians 4:6 says, “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God.” We are commanded to stop being anxious and pray.

I know what nerves are like. I know the grip that anxiety can have on us and how fear can immobilize us and persuade us to stay in our box. But I also know the peace that flows through me after a friend has prayed with me, and I am so thankful for the way people around me have reminded me to have confidence in God. By trusting in God, I have been able to change my stance, breath deeply and fix my posture so that I can step out of my box, break my chains, and do whatever the Lord asks me to with confidence.