Move on

Move on
you’ve stared at that wall for too long
it hasn’t budged
so you need to
I know, your thoughts are on a loop
stuck in the past
reliving that conversation as though
you could undo what you said
and take back the hurt you used
now everyone is bruised
but there’s no going back
and it’s not for a lack of staring at a wall.
overthinking doesn’t heal wounds
so move. Sin doesn’t disqualify you.
It’s a war and you’re an imperfect,
hurting, broken, still learning soldier.
You are the one God chose to select
don’t stand still as though dead

Take another step
you said what you said
you were forgiven when you chose to repent
now shake it off and hit the reset

Eyes off the blank wall and toward the battlefield
it’s in this moment that you choose not to yield
it’s not the first moment you’ve had to push past
where would you be if you used the past like a shield?

That time when you said what you needed to say
and it hurt but you were right.
The slammed door,
yeah I’ve been there
hanging up without apologizing
ending the call after building a wall
giving a cold shoulder
not saying enough, saying too much

When you said no
when you had to let go
when you struck the first blow

Haven’t we all?
haven’t we all hurt enough people to know
that there is no rewind?
so why do we hit play again in our head?
it’s an old recording of
a scene that can’t be edited
there is no deleting
so stop overthinking.

Why are you only reliving the failures?
You are so much more
you got to here
stop decorating your headspace with heartache
enough unpreventable pain happens already
don’t sit here with the hurt replaying
in a pit of self-pity staring at a wall
you’ve messed up before
I promise, it’ll happen more
you can’t hide and just kneel
simply because this hurt hasn’t yet healed
you will survive this and see it happen more

Move on
burned bridges don’t rebuild themselves
time doesn’t heal without some help
stop waiting for someone to offer you a hand
stop praying for a white flag
no one is coming to your rescue
so fight for the God who enlisted you
take initiative and make your move
stop asking why
stop saying what if
you admit you’re not innocent
now get over it.

You’re gonna be alright
take a step.
right, left, right, left
don’t look back at this one yet
it will be a while before you see the Author's intent
deep breath
move on
make a new memory
do something you love
remember your goals
keep going
stand up from the chair
turn your back to the wall
and end the overthinking that led to your lockdown

Between the Lines

Between the lines that are clearly written, there's a whole other story.  

(please note: this is a fictional and imaginative piece written for creative purposes, not factual)

Hey sis! 

How are you? I'm writing because I'm bored and lonely miss you and have been praying for you. Life is bleak right now going well, there are a lot of struggles and I cant see God working but God is always good. People here are friendly but I have no friends and want a real conversation and say hi. I've joined a few groups but I don't really fit in which should keep my busy. I'm struggling to God is teaching me to trust, He has brought me this far but I'm tired and want to quit and keeps air in my lungs so why does it still hurt to breathe? I am grateful. Time really flies, I miss what is was like to be happy a kid, so many memories keep hitting me and bringing me to tears of the good days with less responsibility and no constant overwhelming fear. I hope you're doing well, I'd give anything to have your faith coffee with you right now, you always manage to hold onto hope when it seems impossible make people laugh, I need that right now. Please tell me that everything is gonna be ok? next time you're in town. Thanks for being there for me. Miss you!

-your sister in Christ

 Hey sis! 

How are you? I'm writing because I'm bored and lonely miss you and have been praying for you. Life is bleak right now going well, there are a lot of struggles and I cant see God working but God is always good. People are friendly but I have no friends and want a real conversation and say hi. I've joined a few groups but I don't really fit in which should keep my busy. I'm struggling to God is teaching me trust, He has brought me this far but I'm tired and want to quit and keeps air in my lungs so why does it still hurt to breathe? I am grateful. Time really flies, I miss what is was like to be happy a kid, so many memories keep hitting me and bringing me to tears of the good days with less responsibility and no constant overwhelming fear. I hope you're doing well, I'd give anything to have your faith coffee with you right now, you always manage to hold onto hope when it seems impossible make people laugh, I need that right now. Please tell me that everything is gonna be ok? next time you're in town. Thanks for being there for me. Miss you!

-your sister in Christ

Pursuing God

I believe that God is good and that in pursuing Him with all that we are we will find all the good there is to be found.  

In knowing Him, there is love, joy, peace, confidence, hope, and all pure things, unstained by the world and able to overcome sin. The weapons that we wage war with all find their cause in Him, even the desire to fight the war comes from the God who knows no defeat. He is victorious and the faith placed in Him will never disappoint us. 

So where is He now? When our hearts are burdened and all we know is that we are tired- tired emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically- in every way exhausted beyond what we thought we could take, where is the God who promises rest and reward?
He feels distant.
But that God is not limited to how we feel or what we think of Him. He sits in the heavens, yes. But He is also 3 in 1. Even now His Spirit- The Living God- is in my body as a temple. His Son is actively advocating for us. God the Father is listening to us, speaking through us, and working in us. He is found in the notes of Amazing Grace filling the hallway, the whispered prayer before bed and the guilt over sin. He hears every "Jesus, help me", counts every tear and knows every thought. God is found in every word of the Bible, He is seen in every paragraph, passage, and plea. 

Since He is omnipresent, pursuing Him, knowing Him and loving Him is as simple as seeking Him. The smallest effort is rewarded and leaves us with a desire for more. That desire drives transformation. The ones who hate early mornings are now up before everyone else, people who never read begin to love His book, those who never speak now can't stop talking about God's goodness. 

This is the power of pursuit. Seeking God changes us. 

His word does not return void but accomplishes the purpose that it was sent for. "What can be known about God is plain to them" (Romans 1:19. Friends, there is no excuse to not pursue Him. And with that pursuit comes a deep thirst for more. Our king and our Father wants us to know Him. That is why theology is not just for pastors, scholars, or counselors- it is for those that love and want to know God. At the same time, the Gospel and very basics of faith is not just for children or new believers- it is for all those who love and want to know God. 

The more I share the Gospel or give my testimony the more I am remembering and dwelling on who God is and what He has done, this in turn deepens my faith and drives me to know more. And knowing more doesn't have to come from hours of reading commentaries, sitting through lectures, or reading Augustine or Piper. Knowledge comes from God's word. That is all that is needed. Pray, open your Bible and read, then pray. That is pursuit. And it brings joy, peace, and wisdom. 

God is here. Do you see Him? Are you seeking? Start now. He is not slow as some count slowness. He wants to use your life to bring others to repentance. Are you willing to be used by Him? He is waiting.