Labels

Step out of your box

Ever heard someone say, "I can't help it, that's just the way I am"? Or something like, "I will never be good at this so I don't need to try"? Statements like those annoy me. A lot. They put people in a box and say that they will never move outside of it. We put labels on ourselves and on others that prevent growth and success. That always frustrates me. It's like creating a box and then deciding to never leave it, even if it's not a good thing to stay in it. The problem is that we hide behind labels, we use them as excuses to not do things.

We label ourselves as introvert or extrovert, intelligent or unintelligent, loud or quiet, and then we stay like that. Last week, I talked about personality types a little, and I think that's one way that we label people. Now, I don't think it's a bad thing to know your personality, I think it's a bad thing to use that as an excuse for something. If I see someone standing alone in a corner I can't just say, "I'm an introvert I don't need to go talk." That would be like seeing someone's house on fire and deciding that since I'm not a fireman I can't help at all. As an introvert, I should still be kind to other people even if that means that in need to go outside my box. We should use labels, like personality types, to help us know how to improve rather than being happy with our weakness's. Extroverts do this too, I've heard people say they can't help but be loud and shout when they should be quiet, simply because that's the way they are. And sure, not everybody does this, but I've found that way too many people do. It's hard not to. Making excuses comes natural to us and labels are our best excuse. But we don't just leave it at that. We don't stop with labelling ourselves, we label others.

When someone walks into a room, you have judged them almost immediately in some way and put a label on them. Business Insider reports that first impressions are made within seven seconds. We label people naturally, and the problem with that is we act based on those labels way too often. If we see an introvert we think they're happy to be left alone, when in reality, everyone wants friends. We look at an extrovert and think they have plenty of friends and wouldn't be interested in getting to know us. Seeing someone younger than us, we think they aren't "on our level" and so we avoid them. We see an adult and decide not to speak to them because we think we are beneath them. We tend to think that anyone really smart or a super good debater can't be nice, so we avoid getting to know them. And I don't think everyone does this, but I do think it all happens way too often. The problem mainly lies not just with labels, but with how we act due to the labels we put on others. We stick to our first impressions of people and never give them a second chance. 

So I ask that you use labels to show you where you need to improve, not as a shield to hide you from certain interactions. Do what you can to break out of any stereotype and conquer any labels that are put on you or that you put on others. Personality types are great for finding out about who we are, but all too frequently we let them put us in a box and we never try to change it. In fact, we use it as an excuse. Let's change that. 

Let us all become the person we should be, not the person we are labelled as. 

Introverts should step out of their box and introduce themselves to people. Extroverts should be more quiet and sensitive around people. When someone new walks in the room and you get your impression of them, give them a chance to change it. This takes courage. We become comfortable with who we are, change is hard. Stepping outside our box is risky. But we must have the courage to break out of the labels placed on us, and the courage to get to know people despite whatever label you've placed on them. With courage comes change. 

Being just the way we are is great, and we are unconditionally loved as ourselves, and yet, life is about direction not perfection. We are to become more like Christ every day. And labels can help us, as long as we are focused on stepping outside of them, on becoming better then we were yesterday. 

Don't make excuses. Have courage. Step outside the box.

Personality

I know I've told you guys a little about me in this post. But I thought it would be cool to talk a little more about my personality and what that means for me. Also, this may be important for a later post....so stay tuned.

 I've mentioned many times before that I'm an introvert, but there's parts of my personality that seem pretty cool.

I'm an INTP on the Myers-Briggs personality test. That means I'm Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving. Humanetrics.com says, "INTPs are pensive, analytical folks. They may venture so deeply into thought as to seem detached, and often actually are oblivious to the world around them." That sums me up pretty well. People think I'm not paying attention, when really I'm just thinking more deeply about what they're saying. INTP's also tend to see things as what they could be, we search for how things could be improved, we find the possibility for improvement in every thing. I'm shy about meeting new people, but I can be very self-confident around those who I know.

 Basically, I can seem pretty withdrawn around lot's of people and knowledge is one of the most important thigs to me. But there is another personality test called the Enneagram, which also gives an accurate description of my personality. I'm a type 5, an Investigator. Investigators have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful. That's me in a nutshell. The hard parts about being a 5 are feeling lost when I'm in a crowd, wanting to voice my opinions but not wanting to stand out, and people telling me I seem distant or arrogant because I struggle with connecting with people.

 The similarities between me and these analysis' of me are pretty amazing. Really, both types of personality tests lent the same result for me, I'm introverted and I love facts and knowledge. These tests can be very useful, they don't just show me what I like, they also pinpoint my weaknesses. They reveal what I need to work on. This is my personality, but I can change the bad parts. I'm not confined to remaining like this

For some people, personality tests aren't at all accurate. But it was pretty accurate for me so I enjoyed it. You're probably wondering what the takeaway is, why did I even bother to write this? I kinda just wanted to have fun, let y'all get to know me a little better. It's also going to be important in next week's post. I also want to point out that, whatever our personality, God designed us specially and beautifully. 1st Corinthians 15:10 says, "But by the grace of God I am what I am." And Psalm 139:14 tells us that we are, "Fearfully and wonderfully made." We are exactly what God meant us to be. It's pretty neat to look at all the personality types and the differences in the people that God made and look at ourselves and realize that we are His wonderful creation. And when we look at who we are, we must remember that this is what we are by the grace of God. 

You guys should take the tests and let me know what you are. If there's any INTP's or type 5's reading this I would really like to know. Here's the link for the Myers-Briggs test and to take the Enneagram you can go here. Take them, analyze if it's accurate at all, and let me know! 

Petrichor: After it rains

You know that smell when you walk outside right after it rains? The one that makes you feel like the world is as it should be? 

Well that smell has a name: Petrichor. 

Petrichor literally means the smell after it rains. And if you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, you need to spend more time outside. The beauty of the earth after it rains is astounding and you definitely need to see it. And smell it. It's called petrichor, but for me, that smell has a different word as well. Nostalgia. See, I lived in Maine for 8 years. And it rained quite a bit up there in the spring. Often, we would go outside when it rained and splash around in the puddles and just have fun. Then the sun would start to come out. A rainbow would appear. The mist would start rising off the ground. Our soaked clothes would begin to dry. 

And everything looked magical. 

I only remember a few of these moments, but I hope I never forget them. Those feelings of pure comfort and joy will certainly not be forgotten. Nostalgia is looking back on things with a feeling of fondness. We need to do more of that. Each and every one of us has come a long way. We've fought battles, we've learned lessons, we've persevered. And sometimes we need to remember that.

Steven Curtis Chapman is a Christian songwriter who wrote a song called "Remember to Remember", it stood out to me among because of the way he phrases our journey through life. The lyrics I love the most say,

"Well, I've been looking back over my shoulder
Retracing every step trying to unforget
And I see the mountaintops I've journeyed over
And I see the valleys deep where I crawled on my hands and knees
Pages and memories filled with joy and stained with tears
They call my name and if I listen, I can hear them saying
Remember the way He led you up to the top of the highest mountain
Remember the way He carried you through the deepest dark
Remember His promises for every step on the road ahead
Look where you've been and where you're going
And remember to remember"

We should remember what has gotten us this far, look back on the lessons we've learned and the good times we've had. From those memories, we can draw the strength to continue on. The Lord has been with us through tough times already, we must have faith that He will continue to be with us in the future. That's the good side of nostalgia.

But nostalgia isn't always a good thing. Sometimes feelings of fondness for the past can keep us from looking at the future. They can come upon us when we don't need them and hold us down. We have to learn to let go of certain things. At some point, we have to look past them and move on. There is a balance we all have to find between remembering things, and letting them go. Memories tie us to our past, sometimes they can be an anchor that steadies us, but sometimes they can be a chain that imprisons us. 

Everything we have done has helped create who we are, so we must, from time to time, remember those things. But at the same time we must not be weighed down by them. 

For me, those nostalgic memories come flooding back when it rains. Now, every time I smell petrichor, it takes me back to that magical time in the rain in Maine. The times when I was totally carefree. Nostalgia can be a bad thing, it can keep us tied to the past and prevent us from moving forward. It can conjure up feelings of sadness at a time when we should be happy. But it can also keep us from forgetting past blessings. It can help us keep pushing forward to achieve similar memories. It can show us the magic that God places in our lives. 

And that is what I feel when it rains. I am transported to another time and place. Those memories surface whenever I smell petrichor, the beautiful scent of the rain drying up from the earth. So step outside after it rains and make your own memories, and in the future always remember to remember. 

Unnoticed is ok

Some people stand out. You know, the kind of people where you walk into a room and immediately notice them. The people who seem to be everywhere and meet everyone.

And then some of us aren't like that. Some people just aren't noticed that much, or at least feel that way. These people with quiet spirits and subdued speech just don't seem to get much attention. Most of those people are introverts, who watch the world without interjection. And I'm sure at some point, whether introvert or extrovert, you have felt this way as well. Overlooked by society, left out of the popular circles, unknown by the "cool kids". And it can feel pretty tough to be unnoticed. In fact, some people make it their goal to become liked simply so they don't have to deal with the pain of being unnoticed.

 That's wrong.

I believe that being unnoticed is ok, even good. There's a few reasons for that. 

Being in the background means less pressure. Honestly, if no one really pays much attention to you then you can be absorbed in your own thoughts, or caught up in a book, and no one even realizes you really aren't paying attention. Going unnoticed gives you freedom to enjoy yourself without being judged as much as the popular kids.

 I think that if you are unnoticed then you know what it feels like, so you notice. Because you aren't seen, you can spend more time seeing. When you're unnoticed you relate better to people who also feel left out, you can impact their lives. Those who are less popular are in a good place to serve others. In fact, people who serve others should be unnoticed. In fact, people who serve others should go unnoticed. Mathew 6:3-4 says, "But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you." Our giving should always be in secret, so going unnoticed is ok.

But I know, feeling overlooked can hurt. Standing in a crowded room watching everyone talk and laugh is hard, it can make you feel unloved. Sitting alone in a row of chairs can make you think you are forgotten. And at some point, everyone has felt that pain. Everyone addresses it in a different way, some people seek popularity, others embrace the loneliness. But I would suggest that if you feel like you are unnoticed, you should use it to serve others. You are put in the place you are in for a reason. You were made for a purpose only you can fulfill. If you are unnoticed by everyone, then there is a good reason for it. If you look at it in the wrong light and view it as painful and pitiful then that's what it will be. But if you see it as an opportunity.....the possibilities are endless. 

Maye you're not one of these people, maybe you're a popular person and cant relate to the people who blend in to the background. If so, then here's a quick word of advice for you: Make A Difference. You also have a platform, people are watching you to see what is "cool", use that to shine a light into people's day. Notice the people who go unnoticed and remind them that they are special too. 

Some people are just overlooked by society, that's ok. Don't see it as a problem, use it as a solution. No matter where you are, who you are, or how popular you are, you are where you are to do something only you can do. So, do it. I know what it feels like to be unnoticed, I know that others feel the same way. And I know that unnoticed is ok.

Stress

I should probably study for that economics final, the one that I'm taking tomorrow. The PSAT is coming up in two weeks, I really need to study for that. And then the SAT will be soon after, reading the book for that would be a good idea. Oh, and the chemistry CLEP test? The one that has a 29% pass rate? That's coming up. Was I supposed to start micro-economics tomorrow? I need to do math when I get a chance. My first speech and debate tournament of the year is in one month, I should write my speeches. Did I finish that literature paper? I think someone called me to help clean the house. And I need to respond to that email I got.
Wait, have I not written a blog post yet????

These were my thought Sunday night as I worried about all the things yet to be done. I felt like everything was pulling me in a thousand different directions and I was inches away from fracturing into a million pieces. I was stressed. Now, I'm not the only busy person, in fact, I'm sure everyone deals with this kind of pressure. But in a whirlwind of things that need to be done, in an atmosphere of intense pressure, we need to breathe. When you're dealing with stress in any situation, you need to breathe. I know, breathing doesn't seem like the logical thing to do when there's important things to get done. But I have found that it helps (so does not procrastinating on studying).

Also, thinking about how much stress helps you in the long run gives you the desire to keep going and not scream, cry, or loose control.

James 1:2-4 says "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

We can rejoice in our stress because endurance through it makes us complete. And even though we can be faced with hard times, we shouldn't be anxious about it. Philippians tells us that "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

Isn't that cool? Going through difficult times, it is hard to not be anxious. But if we pray thankfully to God and present our stress and worries to Him, we will experience peace beyond all understanding. Right now, it's a difficult time for everyone. School is kicking into full gear, the fall has just started bringing certain activities closer for some people, it's football season so everyone wants to be watching tv, and life is just busy. And there is no easier to be stressed. But right now, I urge you (and me) to be calm. Life will slow down again, this season will pass, and we will emerge stronger and smarter because of it. So take a moment to breathe. Reflect on God's sovereignty. And then push forward through whatever daunting task is ahead of you with endurance, knowing that in the end, you will experience peace that you cant even comprehend right now. 

That's all for now, I should probably go study.