Turn

Turn-
Turned away from Christ.
Turned to busyness, turned to a screen, to a drink, to a knife.
Turn- turned off my brain, my conscious, tried to stop God from speaking. Turn off the pain, tune out the hurt. I thought the darkness would never turn to light, I almost turned right at the stop light, turned to the bridge, turned off this biological machine.
Only God’s power can turn this life into a lighthouse, the tears into laughter, the pain to hope and the fear to peace.
Turn- how the tables turned, control was never mine but its illusion shattered.
Turn- where do I turn? Nowhere to go, my turn to be struck on the road to Damascus. My turn to have scales removed from my eyes by a servant of the Lord. Turned to the pages of 1st Peter, took a turn suffering, turned back to Christ who turned my heart and my life inside out. He gave me people to turn to- in a coffee shop, a phone call, a church office, an adopted family.
I couldn’t see the situation turning out for the better until months later when I turned around to look. Screens, drinks, knives turned to prayers, people, papers of words expressing my pain and joy. Church was no longer a cold palace of walls and fake smiles, it turned from a stranger to an open family My turn came to tell my testimony, to show the church I had turned to God alone. A crumbling tower of independence turned into a tree dependent on streams of living water.
The world kept turning and I turned 18, a time that was never supposed to come for me came and I didn’t turn my car off until I found myself in a completely new situation. Now every day my heart turns in my chest, fear churns in my heart. But it's time to take up the cross, step out in faith, drink the cup just as as my Savior in the garden did taking His cross so I in turn could carry mine. Depression turned into anxiety, hope of a new start turned to fear of failure. Again, my Shephard turned my eyes back to Him. He turned people out of their way so they could reach into my life. 

I turned from a captive to my thoughts to again taking every thought captive and turning them into words of praise for the God who is good. I turn off the panic, turn from my fear, my phone, my frenzy. New challenges, new opportunities, new people everywhere I turn- my Shield, Rock, and Salvation- my God- will never turn His face from me. Satan never turns off the attacks but the prayers of the suffering turn God’s ear and He turns His hand as He whispers “I am still here”. 

Friend- turn to God even when all seems hopelessly lost. Be still, know He is God. Turning now to service of others, prayer without ceasing, loving, seeking the hurting. 

The twists and turns of my life brought me here safe in the open arms of God’s grace and joyfully embraced by His people.