hypocrytical?

On Tuesday, December 18th, 2018, I opened a draft for a blog post. I thought I would post it soon, it was a topic I was passionate about at the moment and I had some time to write. I returned to it multiple times to write it and then even decided to write a speech on the same topic. This concept I wanted to write about had never left my mind and I was thinking about it constantly, so it only seemed right that I should post about it. Yesterday I opened this draft and found it just as I left it that evening in December: Empty. Not one word. Just a title, a thought I had, a blank sheet of paper waiting to be filled. My computer screen stared back at me accusingly. But this time, I had come to write. Like I said, I wrote a speech on this topic that has haunted me for almost a year. Here is most of it, edited and adapted for easier reading. Some of these words you have probably read before, but I hope they inspire you in new ways. It all started with a quesiton: Am I hypocritical?

That preacher changed what I thought about hypocrisy. He stood up in front of a congregation and admitted that he was just a sinner. That preacher wasn’t even real. The preacher I’m referring to is the fictional character in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s book, A Scarlett Letter. This novel, set in a 17th-century Puritan society, deals in part with a pastor who has hidden a sin for seven years and struggles with guilt because of it. When he decided enough was enough he opened up and told the truth. Unfortunately, he didn’t receive the response he wanted; no one believed him. The more the clergyman asserts his own sinfulness, the holier his congregation believes him to be. He was a hypocrite, but they only elevated him higher. 

Getting this kind of response is one of my greatest fears. And that’s why I’m writing this. Because somehow I want to step out of a lie and face a fear. I want to talk about being hypocritical.

Let’s define what that means. Merriam Webster defines hypocritical as “characterized by behavior that contradicts what one claims to believe.” Basically, it's living a lie, saying one thing and doing another. When we become hypocrites we can become enslaved by our image and trapped inside of something we aren’t. That’s what I want to warn against by discussing our image, the direction we should be going, and the influence we can have on others.

Starting with our image or the way we portray ourselves. When I think of hypocrisy my mind first goes to Mathew 23, which is just 39 verses of Jesus calling out the Pharisees for all their sins. In verses 28 and 29 He says, ““Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. So you, too, outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” The Pharisees were whitewashed. That always makes me think. White is the color of purity, of perfection. How many of us become whitewashed for church on Sunday? We scrub up, put on nice clothes, sing the hymns and pray, even drop coins in the offering plate. I’m not saying don’t dress up for church, I’m saying please be careful that you don’t become whitewashed in the sense that they did. Hypocrisy is living out this image of outward holiness and inward decay, outward smiles and inside tears, outward “I’m fine” and inward screams for help.

For the last two years, I feel like I’ve lived this kind of lie. I’ve painted myself as something I’m really not and feel pressure to live up to that. That’s led to feeling stuck in a vicious cycle of anxiety over not being perfect enough. The little snapshots of information that I let people see make it seem like I have my life all together and perfectly planned out. The reality is a little messier though. I am a hypocrite in many ways. But I don’t let people see that, I only show them the side of me that looks somewhat presentable.

What’s your image look like? Do you let people see who you are? Or do you only show the whitewashed outside? If you can relate to struggling with hypocrisy, there is hope. Let’s examine the direction we must go to step out of this lie.

I’ve always been told that the Christian life isn’t about perfection, it’s about direction. This means that we must try to escape the picture of being perfect. As long as people view you as having everything together, always calm, and unendingly happy, you are being hypocritical. We have to move in the direction of letting people know us as real people. This is something I am so afraid of doing. I’m comfortable with showing you the snapshots that make my life look figured out. But dig deeper and I will start backing away. At least, I used to. This summer, I was feeling the pressure of living up to an image I had created and was ready to be done with it. And yes, I was scared of people seeing me for something different, but with that fear came the hope that I could stop living up to such a high expectation. Yes, they would see how broken and stressed and exhausted I was, but maybe in that they could see who God had made me, see His grace that had healed me, see the strength that had miraculously gotten me through. I chose hope over fear and honesty over hypocrisy. I started to head in the right direction by letting people see that I do struggle and don’t have it all together.

Lastly, let’s spend some time looking at our influence and how hypocrisy affects it.

Recently, life has been really busy. Not just for me, but a lot of my friends are feeling the stress as well. When a friend called me for encouragement one day, I told them honestly, “I don’t feel like I can say anything that will help, it will all be so hypocritical.” The response they gave really stuck with me, they said, “That’s ok, sometimes in order to encourage others you have to be a little hypocritical.” And I agree with that. When people come to us for help, we may be in the place of not even being able to help ourselves. We still must offer advice and hope. If encouraging people when we are discouraged is hypocritical, then please, be a hypocrite. But often the biggest impact you can make will come through telling your story. Being real and admitting you aren’t perfect makes you real and approachable, telling people what you’ve been through and how you’ve come out stronger communicates hope. I love stories, I love hearing about people's struggles. They are all a testament to the power and love of God. They show how He mends broken humans.

Pictures capture moments, stories capture lifetimes. I encourage you today to go find someone who needs hope and strength, tell them about the ways that God has empowered you. Use your story to influence people and give them a reason to keep going. We could all use that. Don’t allow yourself to become trapped in an image you have created. It leads to pressure, false expectations of perfection, and limits the influence you can have on people. Don’t let people elevate you higher based on some perceived holiness, but rather stand before them and admit your imperfections. 

Destroy your hypocrisy, tell your story and bring hope into someone’s life.