Some thing's are more important than breakfast

The house was a mess, the kitchen was chaos, people were stressed, everyone was exhausted. And we were all hungry. As we were trying to get food on the table for the six people in my family tension was high. Breakfast is really important. But in the middle of all of that a few days ago, I paused. And I realized that some things mattered even more.

Ever been in a situation kind of like that? Where everyone wants something and they are stressed enough to argue over it? Sometimes we get hyped up over situations that aren't really a big deal. I mean, I know it is a big deal in the moment especially if it's as vital as breakfast, but some things are more important than breakfast. Stressful situations are difficult to deal with because emotions can cloud our judgement of an already complicated situation. In those difficult times we have to remember that some things are more important then whatever you are trying to get done at the moment. Some things are more important then the tournament you want to win. More important then the paper you're trying to write or the grade that you want to get. More important then the song you're trying to listen to or the game you want to play. And you all probably know that. Yet, when emotions are high and you want something badly that just seems so important, it's easy to forget those other things that should be important to us at all times. What are these things? Family. People. Relationships. Your integrity, honesty, and respectfulness. Love. Those things should never be sacrificed for anything, even breakfast.

So how do you keep focused on those things when it seems like the world is falling apart? Think of a cup full of water. If that cup is knocked over, what will come out of it? Water. If it's full of milk, water won't come out. In situations when you aren't stressed, you are filling up your cup with either good things or bad things. When you get shaken or upset, what is in the cup will come pouring out of you. If you prioritize the important things when it's easy, then you will still be able to focus on them in the stressful moments. Consistently but emphasis on the things that are really important so that in stressful situations you can see what matter most.

I've talked previously about stress and how getting through it makes us stronger, but today I just want to focus on our priorities. By prioritizing things that have an eternal significance rather then an earthly we can avoid some of the stress. One German writer, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, grasped the importance of priorities. He said, “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” In a world where thousands of distractions are constantly vying for our attention it is of upmost importance that we stay focused on what matters most. Namely, God and His commands. As I was mentally going back over that situation in the kitchen, it struck me that a similar thing had been recorded in the Bible. Luke 10:38-42 says, “A certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, ‘Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.’ And Jesus answered and said to her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her’”  Is serving important? Absolutely. But some things are more important, and that's the lesson Martha had to learn. When we prioritize Christ, we don't get frustrated if things aren't going our way. 

 Breakfast is always really important. It's possible to stress over it and get upset over those who stand in your way from getting it. But God's commands are even more important. The people around us are more valuable. Yes, some things are more important than breakfast.

A few questions

Here's some background to this post: My middle name is Marie. This is an interview between Marie and Elaine, so basically I am asking myself questions. I tried to imagine the questions a reporter would ask and then answer them honestly. I hope you like it.

Marie, “Hi Elaine, thanks for taking this time to talk with me.”

Elaine, “sure, I’m glad I get this opportunity to answer whatever questions you may have for me, it’s very different from writing a normal post.”

Marie, “You certainly write a lot of posts, what got you into writing so much and when did you know that you wanted to start a blog?”

Elaine, “I really wanted a platform to share some of my thoughts, it was about eight months ago when I was tossing around a lot of ideas and needed to write them down and then decided that I would publish them. I’ve always hoped that I could give someone a new perspective on an issue or give people hope through writing.”

Marie, “Well you certainly have a platform now. You talk a lot about hope in many of your posts, when did that really become an important idea for you?”

Elaine, “It was probably most important to me right before I wrote my post on my gymnastics story, basically I was going through a lot of changes in my life and I wanted to more deeply understand what hope really meant to me and then share that with others and maybe make a difference in their lives or impact them in some way.”

Marie, “And that remains an important concept for you today?”

Elaine, “Definitely. I can’t claim to understand it fully, but I still cling to hope like a lifeline.”

Marie, “That’s great. You just mentioned making a difference, that has been the theme of many of your posts recently, right?”

Elaine, “Yes, two or three of them specifically focused on the impact that we can have.”

Marie, “But doing that is hard isn’t it? It’s difficult to use our choices to make a difference. I think a lot of people don’t do that because they’re afraid of rejection, what do you say to them?”

Elaine, “Well, I think everyone fears rejection and everyone has faced it in some form at some point. Whether it's not receiving the invitation to a party all of your friends are attending or not getting acknowledgment for something you worked hard on, fear of rejection is a real struggle for all of us. I know it’s been a struggle for me. We ultimately just have to decide that we don’t care, that the good we might do is better than the rejection we may face. We shouldn’t care about the judgments of others because we have already been judged, and the verdict is good news.”

Marie, “We have to decide to not care? That’s scary.”

Elaine, “Life is rarely easy or simple. We have to face our fears in order to succeed. Our greatest fear shouldn’t be rejection, but if it is we have to conquer it. In everything, we must have courage.”

Marie, “Is that why you named your blog, “The Courage 2 Continue”?”

Elaine, “That was part of it. I have always loved the Winston Churchill quote and some things were happening in my life that proved the importance of courage, so I decided that would be the theme of my writings. Since then I’ve tried to incorporate courage in some way into my posts.”

Marie, “Interesting. What exactly is courage?”

Elaine, “That's a tough question. Courage is a very complicated idea. Winston Churchill says that it is what it takes to stand up and speak and what it takes to sit down and listen. Courage is facing our fears, doing the right thing when it isn’t easy. We can see examples of courage all around us, and really I think those examples are what give us the clearest view of courage.”

Marie, "That's a good explanation. Now, one of your first posts was on a song that you basically explained in more detail, Cry Pretty by Carrie Underwood, and in it you talk about the need to open up and accept help for others, what has that looked like for you?”

Elaine, “Well, I have to admit I’m rather hypocritical regarding seeking help. But when I do open up and trust people it’s always worth it. Often we hide our pain, but when it gets to be too much, it all comes pouring out like a flood. And when it does it’s helpful to have someone you trust that you can lean on. While I don't Even though I'm not a great role model in this issue, I still encourage others to find someone they can trust and open up with because it does help in difficult times.”

Marie, “You’re right about that. Thanks for answering my questions, I have enjoyed talking to you, and maybe we can do this again sometime.”

Elaine, “Sure. I really appreciate the time you took to talk with me.”

Marie, “I hope you make a difference in your world. I hope one day you touch millions of people with your words. They have had an impact on me. Keep writing and keep spreading hope.”

Elaine, “That’s my goal. I’m not perfect though and my words are often lacking. I can only hope that I can help someone who is struggling with things I have struggled with.  Through everything, we must keep in mind that “Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.”

That's how I imagine an interview about my blog would go. It was something different and very fun to write. If you guys liked this then please let me know! If you comment and tell me you enjoyed it, I'll do another one like it. If you don't like it, please comment and let me know why. I really want to hear your thoughts. 

The importance of a name

Almost every conversation starts with, "Hi, my name is Elaine, what's yours?" Unfortunately about 20 seconds later the conversation comes to an awkward pause as we have to ask, “what was your name again?” And so starts the introduction process to get to know someone new. It all begins with a name. Our names are useful to say the least, most of us keep them for our whole lives, we sign our name on important documents, we are known by our name, and our name gets forgotten hundreds of times. But names are very important, they are how we are identified and they give us a send of dignity and pride. When someone says our name it can make us feel important or loved. And since names are so important, you would think that everyone goes out of their way to remember them. Unfortunately that’s not the case. We tend to forget names very quickly despite the fact that it is often in our best interest to remember them. I want to persuade you today that remembering names is important.

 You might think well I already know its important to remember names, I just cant do it as well as I’d like. Well, I’ve thought of that a few times but I realized that we become good at things that we put a lot of effort into. And we put effort into what is important to us. So if I show you that it is really important to remember names, then you might put more effort into it. Now maybe you’re one of those people who is great at remembering names and never forgets any of them, if that’s you then thank you and also I’m really jealous, but keep it up. For the rest of us though, names aren’t that easy so we'll examine how important they are in the hope that you will pay more attention to them.

So what's in a name? Why is it important? I've thought about this a lot recently because I realized that we love to name things. When I was younger everything had to have a name. We would name places, things, stuffed animals, pets. We do that because we like to feel like we are in control, we like to have a sense of pride in things that belong to us. Names have been used since the very beginning when God named us, Man and Woman. Then Adam was given the responsibility of naming things, I guess that just became a need for us. We all have an innate desire to name things and to be named. It gives us a sense of control and belonging. And if you can remember someone else's name, it makes them feel welcome and appreciated. In a sense, our name lends to our dignity, to our being human. Every single culture uses names to refer to people. Anyone who is human, has a name to go by. Names are so important to us, that one of the first things the Nazi's would do to lower morale was take away names. Prisoners were given a number to be identified by. When the soldiers did this, they removed part of their identity and began the process of stripping them of dignity. A name carries weight. It's a way of taking credit for things you have done. It's how you will be remembered, through a name the individual has a way of being part of history, and his or her deeds will exist separately from everyone else’s.

Dale Carnegie says, “A person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound to them in any language”. For me, that quote is very real. Imagine half the time you walk up to someone they call you someone else’s name or they ask you which one are you? Now imagine that happening to you for about 14 years of your life. After a while you get used to it. For me that was a reality. Unless I was wearing a nametag, half the time I got called the wrong name, by friends, peers, and even family. You see, I’m a twin. An identical twin. People always ask me what that’s like and I generally reply that its cool and uncool at the same time. I never hold it against people for not remembering my name, I understand that its difficult, and that makes it so much sweeter now when someone says my name. I understand the importance of remembering other people’s name because I know how much it means to me. When my sister and I started looking less alike people began to say my name more often, and it used to always surprise me. Whenever someone would say, “hi Elaine” I would look down to see if they were just reading my nametag because for the longest time people would only say my name if they could see my nametag first. Being a twin has given me an appreciation for names, and hopefully showing you how much it means to me has given you a reason to put more effort into remembering them.

Hopefully at this point I’ve persuaded you that remembering names is important, I’ve also probably made you feel pretty convicted. But I want to encourage you that you can do this. Let’s look at putting what we’ve learned into practice. There’s a couple of tricks we can use to remember names, I’ll explain three of them. The first way to remember names is to repeat it. Throughout the conversation you have with this person, say their name as much as you can, without sounding weird of course. Secondly, you can spell it out. Once they tell you their name either spell it in your head, or ask them how they spell it, especially if it’s a unique name. And as soon as your done with the conversation, go write it down or type it into your smart device so if you do happen to forget it you can go look it up later. The last tip for remembering names is something I hope I’ve helped you do in the last few minutes: choose to care. Yes, it does require effort, very few people are naturals at it and it’s hard to remember people’s names, especially if they’re twins. But if you think it’s important you will succeed in getting better with names.

On trial

Have you ever felt like you will never be enough? Experienced crushing feeling of despair that comes with the thought that you failed something? Let me give you some good news, you don't have to feel that way. We aren't supposed to be perfect in our own eyes or in the eyes of the people around us. We often put too much effort into reaching our own standards or being what society wants us to be. These things make us feel like we're standing in the middle of a courtroom and the verdict is guilty. Like we will never be enough. The truth is, we have already stood trial. We have already been judged. And the verdict is good news. But it's hard to see that when judgements constantly come against you.

There are three different courtrooms that we can be judged in. But we should only put our faith in the verdict that comes from one of them. 1st Corinthians 4:3-4 says, "But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.” 

Paul describes three courtrooms: society, ourselves, and God. Three judges that can pass a judgment. So I want to break down what courtrooms Paul is talking about. We’ll see how often we can stand trial in the wrong one when we value other judgments above God’s.

The first part of verse 3 says “ But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court.” Paul is talking about society: Those around us. When we dwell in this court, we’re constantly looking for acceptance from others. If you put weight in the judgment of others and how you compare to your peers and that’s where your joy lies, then all it takes, is one negative comment and disappointment will overwhelm you. Don’t let your hope lie in the approval of others. Because, eventually you will lose their approval no matter how hard you try to keep it. We need to be able to say with Paul that we count a small thing to be judged by any people. It doesn’t matter how other see us. Paul understood that his joy didn’t lie in the approval of other so it was a small thing for him to be judged by society. Can you say that? Do you believe that and live like that?

The second court that Paul mentions is himself. “In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted.”

He doesn't judge himself because he knows that he cant be acquitted by his own judgment. We tend to set impossible standards for ourselves and then expect that we can meet them. When we inevitably fail to meet those expectations we beat ourselves up over it. By trying to judge ourselves we’re assuming that we have the power to make perfect standards, as well as the power to justify ourselves. Fortunately, only Christ can do that. We should strive to achieve His standards for our lives first, not our own. And His standards are simple, Romans 10:9 says, "If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." We have hope because we aren't the ones in charge of our fate. That's the third courtroom that Paul talks about.

When we remember that it’s the Lord who ultimately judges us, the things of this world will grow dim. Christ has paid the price for us. He was condemned so that we don’t have to be. The only judgment that matters is God's. Paul's dismissal of our ability to accurately judge ourselves can be liberating. He insists we simply lack the lenses to gain an objective picture of who we are. In the Bible, the truth about ourselves only emerges from our relationship with God. We cannot get an accurate picture on our own because we tend to over or under estimate. He doesn’t judge us by the opinions of others. Because His verdict is already in. He pronounces you innocent and acquitted. 

It doesn’t matter if everyone likes you or not because it’s a small thing to be judged by them.

Living in society's courtrooms or our own courtroom leads to a life of feeling stressed and unwanted. It makes us feel like we must always do more to be good enough. But in God's courtroom we can have peace and security knowing that enough has already been done. That's the courtroom I want to dwell in. That is where there is security and certainty in the judgement. Which will you live in?