Is Chivalry Dead?

"Chivalry is not just a fancy word with 

a neat meaning, it is a way of life" -Vaughen Ripley

A few months ago I asked for your opinion on chivalry, I was curious to see whether people thought
it was alive or dead in our culture. I'm really thankful for everyone who gave me their opinion. The unanimous response was that chivalry has changed, but it is alive. So I have reached a few conclusions about chivalry:

What is modern chivalry?
We don't have knights on horses riding around to help people anymore (everyone drives cars now) so what would chivalry in the 21st century look like? Chivalry is holding a door open, standing up when someone enters the room, offering your seat to someone, basically just treating others as more important than yourself.  It is the Golden Rule. That's something that everyone should try to do, which brings me to the point that annoys me most about chivalry:

Chivalry is a double standard:
In general chivalry applies specifically to men, it was the code of ethics for an ideal knight. The problem is that women should treat others respectfully as well. If us ladies want men to be chivalrous toward us, than we ought to be kind and respectful as well. If I could go back to Medieval times and change something, I would probably write a code of conduct for women and make it just as well known as the code of chivalry. Because ultimately, we are all commanded to treat one another as we would like to be treated and that applies not just to men but to women as well. Women can and should be chivalrous, we should open doors for people, stand when someone enters the room, offer our chair to others, and treat others as more important than ourselves. That would eliminate the problem in conclusion number 3:

The false dichotomy: Chivalry or Equality
The biggest protest against chivalry is that women want to be treated as equals. Some people will take chivalrous acts as an insult against women. People protest that men holding doors for women makes the women look weak, which is ridiculous. If we keep the mindset that chivalry is treating others as more important, then women would realize that it's not a sign of weakness to walk through a door that someone is holding open. If men and women behave respectfully toward one another than there will be chivalry AND equality, problem solved. It is not a situation where we have to choose one, the two great values of chivalry and equality go hand in hand. Which brings us to the good news:

Chivalry will not die: (probably)
I think that as long as there are good people in the world, chivalry will be practiced. So no, chivalry is not dead, though I will admit it isn't practiced by everyone. It's amazing to see people be chivalrous, it makes me super happy when someone is respectful toward another. We need to remember that while chivalry is not mandated, the Golden Rule is. We really don't have a choice, everyone should treat others as they would like to be treated, the command remains the same for all of us, knights and ladies.

So there you are, that's my thoughts on chivalry. If you want to help keep chivalry alive then you could send this post to people you know, then you would be doing a kind act for me and spreading the word about chivalry. Thanks again to everyone who let me know what they thought. If you have something to add or you disagree with me on something then comment and let me know. Also, if you have an idea or a question that would make a good blog post, I would love to hear it. So please let me know if you think of a topic for me to write about.

Speaking Out In Faith

We have a voice. In America, the voice of the people is a right, and we often exercise it. Our voices are powerful. They draw attention to ourselves and to our message. But it is how we use that voice that really matters. Do we say what needs to be said? Or do we back down and remain silent? When we do speak, are our words empty or purposeful?

Christians should not stand by and watch things happen, we cannot be silent in the face of evil. It is time for us to proclaim the Gospel, NOW is the moment for us to show the hope of Christ. We must speak out! Wherever you are, Texas, Arkansas, Canada, anywhere in the world: Speak out!

But there is more we must do than simply speak. If we only speak out than we are just like the rest of the world. Everyone protests, crowds gather in the streets, people march on the government. They cause a ruckus, they yell, they scream to be heard. Protesters everywhere fight for a change. We cannot simply add ourselves to that group. We must hold on to what we believe, we must cling to our invincible faith. That is what we as Christians have, and that is what we must share. So when people have pain in their lives and ask you why God would allow it, give them an answer, make your message heard. If someone is battling with despair, be the first to say something and to show love. Our faith gives us hope that others don't have, so speak about that faith!

I live in North Texas, and watching people speak out used to be enough, I used to think that worked. And sometimes it does. But it is with an invincible faith that we can make a difference. Our voices must be heard, the light must pierce the darkness, our faith must known everywhere. We watch protesters in the news, we see them shouting loudly. Their words are hollow. And it's not enough, something is missing if you only speak out.


Being heard is great, but there is a whole different layer to speaking that must be grasped: the foundation. If the foundation is not your faith than you don't fully know what it is to speak. That is what I have set out on a journey to find. We need to speak with a message, we must hold on to what we believe, and we must cling to our invincible faith. It is no longer enough for me to just speak out, I fully enjoyed the three years when I was with that crowd. But all good things must come to an end, and I have decided to start a new chapter. It will be hard. It will be frightening. And I know it will shape me, it will make me into a person with a message. This change will give me the foundation of faith needed to speak out boldly and change the world for Christ. I will learn things that I didn't realize I needed.
I don't have anything against those speaking out, but I've decided I want more. I have decided to pursue a change. When I began looking for the right choice, it became obvious that building an invincible faith was what I needed. So now, a new chapter in my life begins. I will once again have to fight to fit in and make friends, it will be a new crowd of people. And this year, I will learn to communicate faith. We all need to use the voice we were given. We have the power to change people for Christ. It is time that we are heard. Use your voice! But when you do, remember why you do it. Remember that we can't just shout out words, those words need a message that is grounded in faith. Then they will have an impact. That is my goal and hopefully yours too. I want to be heard, I want to leave an impact.
This year, I won't just speak out, I will be speaking out with an invincible faith!

A House Divided: Part 3

Mathew 12:25 "But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.""

Divisions are the reason we fall. Divisions felled every empire, caused every war, struck down numerous countries, and are currently wounding our homes and our nation. The best way to stand, in fact the only way to stand, is unified. But it is in our nature to contend, to argue, and to fight amongst ourselves. It is only in Christ that we can truly stand in unity. Because of that, I decided to do this series of blog posts focusing on unity with Mathew 12:25 at the heart of my messages. We have come to the end of this series. I have focused on unity as a family, unity as a nation, and now I just want to focus on the object of that unity: Christ. This is the last post in this series on a house divided, and it is on unity in Christ alone.

Now, in my last few posts, I have (of course) talked about unity quite a bit. But the most important part of unity, is what we are united in. What is the object of our unity? If we are only united by blood, our disagreements will probably force us apart after a while. If we are united in political beliefs, we will probably be united until our beliefs change. But if our unity is placed in Someone unchanging then we will not be divided. When I talk about unity, I don't mean that we should agree with everyone for the sake of getting along, or that we have to sacrifice our beliefs in order to be unified. In fact, I think we need to hold tight to what we believe and not be swayed by the people around us. But we still need to love, we still need to have Christ-like behavior at the center of all of our relationships, with friends, family, or strangers. We can do this without sacrificing our opinions. Robert Sirico says, "We must be ruthless with ideas, but gentle with people." Our ideas don't have to change in order for us to have unity. Jesus held on to His beliefs and He responded when His statements were challenged, but He did it in love. That's what we should be doing, not placing our unity in temporary things, but rather in God. 

And we know exactly what that looks like.

The Trinity shows us what it is like to be diverse and unified at once, a perfect example of what Christ wants our families to look like. The Bible shows very clearly that there is only one God, and yet that there are three personal distinctions in His complex nature, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Each is distinct from the others but never acts independently. They are one in nature and purpose. An easy way to describe the Trinity is as a three leafed clover. They are all connected, it is one living thing, but has three vital parts, perfectly united. A more modern explanation is the fidget spinner, but fidget spinners are just annoying so I won't go there. 

Our relationships should reflect the Trinity in unity, all the parts making up one unified whole. 

When we do that, the bond is unbreakable. 

Unity is in Christ alone.

Trying to be united in anything else will only work for a little while, it won't last. We aren't supposed to be unified in evil, or bad things, I agree with Ravi Zacharias who says, "Where destruction is the motive, unity is dangerous." Being unified in a bad cause is certainly dangerous, the object of the unity is what matters most. Unity in destruction is terrible. But the body of Christ is supposed to be unified in Him. If your family is divided, have the courage to speak up in order to honor God. When you meet a stranger who you don't agree with, love them for the sake of unity in Christ. If you have a friend who believes something you think is wrong, steer the conversation away from politics and toward Jesus. My message is not that we should be unified in opinions, my belief is not that we should all just get along. My stance is that God should be the center of what we do and how we interact. 

Our families should revolve around God. 

Our nation will never make the statement "In politics we trust" but we should always say "In God we trust."

Our lives should show that we are united in Christ alone. 

We don't all have to agree with each other, we should continue to argue over ideas, and we must continue to defend our faith, But we have to do it in a way that honors God. We should do it the way Jesus did it. The object of our unity makes all the difference, and the only way we can hope to remain united is if we unite in something unchanging. Charles Spurgeon says, “Consider what you owe to His immutability. Though you have changed a thousand times, He has not changed once.” We constantly changing, always trying to become something different. Because of that, it's hard for us to remain united. It is only when we unite around God, who is unchanging, that we can have lasting unity. He will always be the same.

"It is not in numbers, but in unity, that our great strength lies"---Thomas Paine

"And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken."---Ecclesiastes 4:10-12

"To a true child of God, the invisible bond that unites all believers to Christ is tender, and lasting, and precious; we learn to look on every believer as our brother, in a sense that is infinitely higher than all human relationships. This is the one and only way to bring disciples permanently together. All other plans for promoting the unity of the Church have failed."---A.T. Pierson

Over and over, you will find scriptures and quotes on unity, it is something that everyone understands is necessary. But we can't just keep this knowledge that we need unity. We can't just understand what it is and change nothing. Now that we know what unity is and how badly we need it, it's time to act. Rather than houses dissolving into arguments, have the courage to speak up and seek unity in Christ. Instead of meeting someone new and arguing about the government, talk about God. And next time you feel division coming between you and a friend, make sure you are united in Christ alone, not in something temporary. Our families, our nation, our lives are divided, remaining that way will lead to destruction. But Christ brings peace. In Christ, we can have unity. Go, and find unity in Him. 

A House Divided: Part 2

Mathew 12:25 "But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.""

Jesus is pointing to the importance of unity for everyone in this verse. Unfortunately, our divisions today are beginning to make us crumble A house divided will fall, the only way we can hope to stand is through unity. Realizing the importance of this, I resolved to do a series of posts on unity in different groups that exist in our society, a series of posts focusing on a house divided. My first post was on unity as a family. This is the second post in the series, and it will focus unity as a nation.

Generally, when we hear this we think of Abraham Lincoln's speech. When Lincoln talked about a house divided, he spoke specifically about our nation. Amidst the tensions between the North and South during Lincoln's presidency, he feared that our nation would be brought to desolation. Today, we are also divided as a nation, specifically when looking at the role of our government in our lives.

The government is an institution that God wants us to follow, He outlines the importance of our obedience to authority (Romans 13:1-7). According to His word, we ought to be loyal to our government, but we also have a duty to God. When confronted with the conflict between government and religion, Jesus said, "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's; and to God the things that are God's." (Mathew 22:21) So while we are subject to the ruling authority, our first obligation is to our savior, our hearts, and our behavior should be governed by Christ. Our government doesn't demand our hearts, Christ does.(Proverbs 23:26, Luke 10:27) The president doesn't ask that we tell everyone about him, Christ does. (Acts 1:8, Mark 15:16) Our political party doesn't mandate that we prepare a response if someone challenges our belief in them, Christ does. (1st Peter 15-17) U.S. laws don't say anything about loving your neighbor, but Christ does. Because of these requirements God gives us, we should serve Him even while serving the government. This means that our beliefs in God matter more than our political beliefs, so we should be unified instead of quarreling over different parties.

Now obviously there will always be division between parties. I don't expect that Democrats and Republicans will ever completely be unified, but that's how government works, there has to be some division to reach good decisions. What would be nice, is if people could get along. Not only would it be nice, but Christ requires it. The nation isn't the government, the nation is made up of people, you and me. We the people are the body of this nation. And you and I may disagree on certain political issues, but we ought to not quarrel over them. Quarrels lead to fights, and ultimately the division of our nation. So it is up to us to keep our nation Unified. And this is what Christ would want. We are supposed to follow God's commands and love one another regardless of our political beliefs. Max Lucado says, "God is not troubled by one who is conservative or liberal, and He certainly never inclines His ear toward a donkey or an elephant." We have to make sure we are acting like a Christian before we start thinking about acting like a Republican or Democrat. Today it's like the Christian party and the Republican religion are getting confused. We need to separate these issues. Each year we lift up our government higher and higher, but it's time to remember that it was the Roman government who crucified Jesus. Our faith should not rest in our political party, but rather in our savior who died for us. When our faith is in the right place, our actions will be unified even if our opinions aren't. But this is a struggle, we like to be right and we dislike the people who disagree with us. In general, I avoid getting into political debates as much as possible, and yet, it still affects my judgment of people in a negative way.


Not too long ago, I had a friend who I really enjoyed being around. For a few weeks, we hung out when we could and talked frequently. But then I figured out that this person, who had been my friend for a few weeks, had drastically different opinions than me. I was shocked. How could such a nice person hold these opinions that I totally disagreed with? So I began to separate myself from this person. Slowly, I allowed the political differences to divide us. I will still hang out with this person, but we are certainly not as close as we were. Thinking back on that, I realize how wrong that is. If we hold on to our opinions so tightly that we won't be friends with someone who disagrees, there is a problem. So often, we separate our selves from people simply based on politics. Looking back on it, what shocks me the most about this circumstance is how surprised I was that this nice person didn't agree with me. And I think this is something we all do: we hold this idea that anyone with a different opinion is the bad guy, that they are evil and wrong and can't be nice. Because of that, we are often shocked when the "bad guy" turns out to be a normal and polite person. And those pre-conceived beliefs divide us. If someone doesn't hold the same opinion as me, that doesn't mean they are evil or a bad person just misguided. We need to change the way we view people who disagree with us. Just because they believe something different doesn't mean (necessarily) that they hate America, and they probably don't deserve to be punched if you ever see them. When we hold that view of others then we put politics over religion and we choose our party over God. Instead of engaging people in a debate about politics, we should discuss God's work in our lives. Before we begin complaining about the failures of government, we should thank God for the country He has given us.


The division in our nation is great, and America will crumble if it continues. We the people, need to remember that our God demands unity, He demands that we tell people about our belief in Him not our belief in politics. Our pride in our country is overshadowing our duty to Christ, we give more to our government these days then is required, do we also give to God what is His? He deserves our hearts and our minds. United in Christ we will stand, divided by politics we will fall.


Colossians 3:12-14 "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect unity."

Psalm 133:1 "Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity"


These are just two of the many Bible verses explaining the need for unity. Today, I want to encourage you to seek that unity. We need to stop letting sin divide us, and stand together in Christ. As Benjamin Franklin puts it, "We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately."

A House Divided: Part 1

Mathew 12:25 "But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.""

In this verse, Jesus is pointing out the importance of unity. A house divided will fall, the only way we can hope to stand is through unity. So I want to do a series of posts on unity, unity in different groups that exist in our society. This is the first post in that series and it's on unity as a family.

God established the home in Genesis 2:24, and throughout the Bible lays out the way it should work. The father is the head, he should love his wife and not provoke his children (Ephesians 5:25, Ephesians 6:4). The wife should be submissive and respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-33). The children are to honor their parents (Exodus 20:12.) There are three parts to the family and each one has a job to do. A family works only if all three parts do their job, and that job has to be done with regard to the best interest of the other parts. It's like a three-legged stool. If one leg is cut off then the stool falls. If two parts of a family team up against one, the house is divided. If the children rebel against the parents, the family ceases to function. If the parents bicker constantly, the home crumbles into despair.

Life is a race, it's a marathon. It's hard, but thankfully, we have help along the way. Our family is supposed to be on our team. Parents should discipline with the child's best interest in mind, and the child should be able to see that. If any part of the family begins to question who's on what side than the family isn't functioning correctly. When there is constant contention and division, families fall apart. They become rivals rather than teammates, and your race is affected. 

Unfortunately, there are many fallen families today. In the U.S., almost 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent's marriage. Forty-three percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers.

Our houses are divided against themselves.

And they can't stand. They fall apart leaving broken people behind. Why? Why this pain and separation, why is there a brokenness in so many homes today? Those are questions I can't answer in any way besides blaming it on sin. I've seen what happy families look like, I've seen broken families, I've even seen Christian families suffering. There are many theories on what exactly causes the division: alcohol, poverty, arguments, unfaithfulness; it all just points to sin. A house divided, by any form of sin, cannot stand. We need to stop being divided by sin. We should be unified in Christ. But instead, we allow the sin to divide us, we hang on to our pride and watch our families collapse. The sin gets in the way of each part doing their job, and the three-legged stool falls. No family is perfect, every stool will wobble from time to time, but a family that seeks unity in Christ will resolve their differences. They will forgive each other when wronged. A unified family will experience sin but won't let it divide them.
If you, or someone you know, is in a house that is divided against itself, then there is one piece of advice I can give you: communicate. Communication is key. You have to speak out and let someone know what is wrong. Tell your family that this isn't how we are called to be. Show them the dividedness and explain the need for unity in Christ. If you live in a family that gets along and functions well, then you are truly blessed, I know there are families like that and it's amazing to see how they work together. But if your family is struggling, or you see someone struggling because of family issues, than you understand the pain. You realize how fallen your divided family is. Here's the good news: there is hope. You can speak out. I know that's hard. Saying something takes courage. I know that it seems impossibly difficult. But it is better than the pain of a broken home, and ultimately ought to lead to the glory of Christ. When you have the courage to speak out against the divisions in your home, the unity of Christ can be restored.


1 Peter 3:8 "Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind."
Ephesians 4:2-3 " Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."

These are just two of the many Bible verses explaining the need for unity. Today, I want to encourage you to seek that unity. We need to stop letting sin divide us, and stand together in Christ. As Benjamin Franklin puts it, "We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately."

3 Important Things

I was reading a book recently, when I realized that there was a theme to it that is very important. The book emphasized three different things that effect us every day. Three important things that need to be brought attention to. So that's what I am going to do today. Here are three important things.



Family
The importance of family cannot be over emphasized. Our families shape who we are, these are the people that surround us, for better or for worse. If your family is falling apart, then it feels like your life is as well. Family is everything. They should be there for support and advice. But today, that image is falling apart. Families aren't always what they are supposed to be. Parents divorce, kids rebel, families are shattered. I think the world today needs more of the ties that so closely bonded families in past years. Lord help us all on the day that children must face trials with no one to stand beside them. Obligation to family is vital. We need to remember how families are supposed to work. The father leads, the wife nurtures and advises, the children respect and obey. We need to return to that. Because without a loving family, life is so much harder.

History
History needs to be remembered. Many bad things can be avoided if we would just study the mistakes of the past. As I read this book, I was astonished to learn that Hitler justified what he did by believing no one would remember it in a few years. He says, "Accordingly, I have placed my death-head formation in readiness – for the present only in the East – with orders to them to send to death mercilessly and without compassion, men, women, and children of Polish derivation and language. Only thus shall we gain the living space which we need. Who, after all, remembers today the annihilation of the Armenians?" Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it, and it pains me to realize that Hitler justified his extermination of the Jews by the lack of remembrance of history! Because no one remembered the Armenian Genocide, Hitler believed we would forget the Holocaust. I hope was not right. We need to study history. Hitler’s remark should inspire readers to remember our history, in doing so they may prevent the next major world tragedy.


The Triumph of Good
The most important thing that I find in any book I read, is the triumph of good. Throughout history, we see the same theme. Every story in every culture has had a hero of some sort who is able to show all people that good continuously triumphs over evil. Cinderella triumphs over her stepsisters. The Avengers triumph over Loki or Ultron. Same thing in real life, the good guys win. America earned her freedom. Hitler was defeated. The Soviet Union fell. Sure, bad things happen, but throughout history good prevails. This theme is evident in life as well, you will go through struggles, hardships, and pain. But throughout your journey, you will find goodness and joy in small doses and in the end, courage and perseverance will be rewarded. It is this triumph of good that makes life worth living. Whatever you're going through right now, whoever you are, know that in the end, everything will turn out ok. Even if it feels like you are being crushed by pain in your life, I know that you will pull through. The sun will come out again. We have hope. Hold on to it.


The book I read was called, A Road From Home, it wasn't my favorite, but it was a true story about a girl surviving the Armenian Genocide. These three themes were throughout the book, and I found myself relating to them. I know that if a family is torn apart, life is so much harder, so there is a lot of value in close family bonds. History must be remembered, we must not make the mistakes of those before us. And ultimately, good triumphs. We have hope. If we lose sight of that hope then life can get depressing. Without these three things our society would crumble. We need to hold on to the old idea of family, we need to remember history, and we need to realize that there is hope. There is hope in your life, you will get through whatever hardship you are faced with, good will triumph once more.

Perfect Moments

Occasionally in life you run across a moment that is absolutely perfect. Everything is right with the world and for just one moment nothing seems to matter. Those are moments that we live for, the moments we hold on to for joy, the ones that give us the courage to continue when the going get rough. Here are a few times you might identify with that give me the feeling that everything is as it should be.

1. Watching fireworks with friends
Every year, around the 4th of July, we have friends come over and watch fireworks. And it's an incredible time. The fireworks are right over us and I am surrounded by friends. It's one of those moments where I can take a deep breath and realize that everything is just as it should be.

2. A friend winning something
Being there as someone you know really well wins something is exciting. When your friend receives an award, you should be celebrating along with them. There is so much joy and everyone is jumping and shouting and congratulating, it's just a happy time. For a few seconds I can look around at all my friends celebrating and see that it's a perfect moment.

3. Eating ice cream and watching the sunset
Just chilling at the end of a long day is amazing. Looking out at the sunset while eating ice cream makes a perfect ending to any day. Those moments where you are able to just relax and think are rare but amazing. That's when time stands still and life seems perfect.

4. Getting a perfect score
After you've worked really hard on something, getting a perfect score is amazing. When I take my tests online I get super exited if I see the grade I want and for a moment, life is perfectly fine (until you realize that now you have to take another test). We take pride in our work, so it's natural that seeing a perfect score on something you did makes your day. For me, seeing a perfect score gives me a moment of pure joy.

5. Reading the ending of a great book
Books are amazing. The good ones take you on a roller-coaster of emotions and lead you through exciting plot twists all of it culminating in a grand conclusion that keeps you fully engaged until the last sentence. That's when everything is about to be resolved, everything is pinned on this last moment. And when you read that last sentence there is, for a moment, that perfect feeling that everything is right with the world.


6. Writing a blog post that feels right
I love to write. I write a lot. I'm passionate about all my posts and have truly enjoyed writing them. But there are some that feel different. Some that I finish and I read over and over because it's not like the other things I write. Those posts just seem perfect (though I know they aren't). And it gives me a moment where I can look at the words I write, and I feel like nothing else matters for a second. I get great satisfaction from posting things that I really connect to and that feel right. Even if the post has it's flaws, writing it and seeing my work come to a conclusion is amazing.

These are a few of the perfect moments in my life. Perfect moments give us courage and hope when you are at a low point. We need to hold on to them, appreciate them, because life is hard.

So pause, for just a second.

Take a little while out of your busy day and look around. Look at when you in a situation where everything felt right. Think about the times when your doing something and you wish you could stay there forever, suspended in that perfect moment. And when life gets busy, and difficult, and depressing, remember those times and take courage, have hope that every once in while, the world will feel right again. We all need to remember and appreciate those perfect moments that give us the Courage 2 Continue.